Dayyan’s mind is racing, his mouth opens several times, but nothing comes out for a long time. “And where were you before?”
Okay, I didn’t expect that question. My bad, I should know by now that Dayyan always asks the questions I don’t expect. “With my mother.”
“And why did you have to leave? You don’t have to answer if it’s too private.”
“She was shooting up heroin that was cut with something. Probably fentanyl. I thought she was asleep. She slept a lot.”
“You were there?” Dayyan stares at me in disbelief and shock.
“Where else would I’ve been? I wasn’t in kindergarten or anything. We definitely didn’t have the money for that, and my mother wasn’t interested enough in me to apply for any subsidies. But enough about me. You speak Arabic?”
Chapter 6
Dayyan
What? After telling me this crazy story, this is what he’s asking me? He can’t be serious.
Apparently, my bewilderment shows on my face, because Jannis shrugs his shoulders, not helplessly, more apologetically. Well, I’m no longer surprised he refers to his fathers as the best thing that could’ve happened to him.
I have so many questions right now. But somehow, I know it’s not the right time, and I come back to his. “Not as well as I’d like. I understand a bit. My father is from Syria, but he’s been in Germany for a long time. He originally came for only one semester abroad during his medical studies. Then he met my mother, they fell in love and he stayed. My mother and he speak German with each other, and somehow Arabic has fallen by the wayside.”
This story has an effect on Jannis. A gentle smile softens his often harsh features. “Are you religious then? Shit, that sounded weird. I just thought because of food and stuff…”
“My father was raised as a strict Muslim, but my brothers and I have no religious affiliation. It was important to my parentsthat we decide for ourselves what and whether we wanted to believe in anything at all.”
“And do you believe?” An interesting question.
I shake my head decisively. “I believe there are things between heaven and earth we cannot grasp. I don’t care what that’s called though. My father was cut off by his family because he fell in love with a Catholic woman. A Western woman who had been with other men before him. My mother didn’t fare any better with her family. I refuse to understand such actions. Isn’t it just awesome when two people who are so obviously meant for each other meet on this huge planet? Why does it matter what you believe or where you come from?”
“Or what gender you are...” Jannis’s interjection surprises me. I’ve never thought that far, but I get why this is important for him and he’s absolutely right. I look at him, his fine features, his milky pale skin, his full lips, and something happens in my stomach that I don’t understand. Not for the first time.
***
I have no idea where we are. On the day Jannis arrived late, we exchanged phone numbers, and today he texted me for the first time to say he wouldn’t be free until after dinner. At first, I was disappointed, but then I realized he hadn’t canceled, just postponed.
No, I’m not ready to seriously think about why it’s so important to me that he wants to meet up with me, that he... likes me too. As a friend. Of course. What else? I’m not into guys.
Now it’s dark and we’re walking through a residential area I’ve never been to before. Flocke’s at home, my parents’ decision.
“This way!” I don’t really understand what Jannis means, there’s no path, only dimly lit trees and bushes.
“Where...?” A hand grabs my wrist and I flinch.
“Come on!” Jannis pulls me onto a small footpath, and for the first time in my life, I realize that darkness is not my thing. I sincerely hope he doesn’t let go of me, wonder why his hand feels so warm and soft, and at the same time scold myself for my irrational thoughts. What’s wrong with me? A few weeks ago, my head wasn’t in such chaos.
“Where are we?”
“Wait, we’re almost there.”
After a few yards, a clearing opens up and in front of us lies a... “Is that a playground?”
“When was the last time you rode a ropeway?” It’s been a while.
“If you can’t remember right away, it’s definitely been too long. Come on!”
I don’t know what’s going on with Jannis today, but he’s different. More relaxed, more carefree, and his energy is contagious. “Are we even allowed to be here?”
He grins at me mischievously. “We shouldn’t get caught.”
