“That’s the dragon meadow over there, and this is where I live.” I point to the large gate on the right.
“Oh, wow. That’s crazy. It’s almost like a mansion.” He stares open-mouthed at the privacy fence that has surrounded my home for as long as I can remember. I can relate to his first impression though. Even though I’ve gotten used to the size of our house, when I first drove up the driveway at the age of six, I felt like Cinderella driving up to the castle. Everything was so beautiful and so clean. And there was always electricity and hot water and heating. It was crazy.
“But there are five of us living here.” I try to justify my living situation, even though I know it’s not really necessary. No child is responsible for the circumstances they grow up in, good or bad.
“There are five of us too. Do you have more siblings?”
“Yes, I have an older brother, but he’s going to University in Karlsruhe and is only home on weekends here and there.”
“Is he adopted too?”
I nod quickly. “Yes, we all are. We’re quite a patchwork family. But it works.”
And there it is again, that gentle smile that reaches Dayyan’s eyes and makes my heart skip a beat.
I don’t want my heart to skip a beat, but I can’t help it, and if I’m willing to admit it, it feels good.
“This is basically the dog area. You can let Flocke off the leash here.”
As soon as the leash clicks, the husky is gone. “Damn, she’s fast.”
“Oh yes, she is. I couldn't let her run if I didn’t know she would listen 100%. She would be off in a flash. Sometimes it’s a bit difficult with her hunting instinct, but usually it’s fine. Rather atypical for huskies.” All it takes is a shrill whistle and Flocke is back at his feet.
Dayyan pulls a small slingshot ball out of his pocket and the dog wags her tail. She knows exactly what’s going to happen, so I’m not surprised she dashes off as soon as the ball is in the air.
“Would you like to try?”
I nod, and then we stand here, in the middle of the meadow, throwing a small ball, betting on who can throw higher, faster, farther, and I want to laugh, but the impulse alone constricts my throat. I haven’t laughed like this in so long, not with anyone outside my family, and then there it is, completely out of the blue, the guilty conscience, because... It’s not okay. Not with anyone else. Or is it?
Chapter 4
Dayyan
“Why are you sitting on the windowsill?” My little brother looks at me with raised eyebrows.
“Mom says we’re not allowed to climb on the windowsill.” Of course, the other one immediately jumps in to help. Firas and Nael are seven years old, a whole twelve years younger than me. But that obviously doesn’t stop them from lecturing me.
“I’m reading. And you’re allowed to sit on this windowsill. Look, this window is different from the others. It sticks out a bit, and the sill is much bigger and sturdier than on the other windows in the house.”
“Why don’t you read on the sofa?”
“Or in your bed?”
“Because I like it here.” And because I can see the street from here. The same street Jannis walks down on his way to the schoolyard. My room faces the garden, which is rather inconvenient in that case. But of course I don’t tell the twins that, because they’d tell our parents, and I can do without that.
I know it’s more than a little pathetic to sit by the window hoping someone might come by. The book in my hand is moreof an excuse than actual reading material, because I can’t look at the book and the street at the same time.
Four eyes stare at me penetratingly and I turn the page. And then again for good measure, when the two of them are still standing there and staring at me after what feels like an eternity.
“Don’t you want to go play? Or go out in the garden. Flocke is outside.”
As if she heard me, my dog starts barking excitedly. She only does that when she knows someone. Confused, I get up to check on her, only to find that she’s not behind the house. Fuck, I hope she’s not barking at people passing by. Nobody needs that. Annoyed, I run around the house. “Flocke! Sto...”
The P gets stuck in my throat because my dog doesn’t get excited over just anyone. “Jannis! Hey!”
My voice doesn’t sound like me at all, and I stumble over both words. So cool. What the hell is wrong with me? “Are you on your way to the schoolyard?”
“Not necessarily.” With both hands deep in the pockets of his jeans, he smiles at me sheepishly. “I... I wanted to ask if you two wanted to go for a walk.”
