“Then come here.”
But Jannis doesn’t move. Not an inch. I sit up and slide to the edge of the bed, so he is standing between my legs. “What’s the problem then? Talk to me.”
“I don’t have any... what does that mean? What am I supposed to do when we’re lying naked in bed? Do we have...? I’ve never had...” Staring at the ceiling, Jannis stutters incoherent fragments of sentences, but I understand him anyway.
I pull him toward me by his waistband, unbutton his pants and slide them down, then pull him in, so he’s straddling my lap. Jannis is trembling all over, and definitely not in a good way.
“You know this, right? That’s not new. We’ve done this before. May I?” I tug at the hem of his T-shirt and he nods quickly, but we both know this is a big deal for him right now. Nevertheless, I continue.
“I’m going to pull you close to me, then I’ll take you in my arms and hold you tight. If you want, you can kiss me. If not, I’ll let myself fall back, we’ll roll onto our sides and sleep.”
“Are you cuddling me? Or am I cuddling you?” Jannis’s gaze meets mine, uncertain but hopeful.
“Whichever way you wish, sunshine.”
“Okay. Let’s do it.”
Grinning, I pull him in really, really close. I’m immediately hard, and I’m sure he can feel it, but he doesn’t react.
In this position, Jannis is even taller, and as long as he’s sitting upright, I can’t possibly kiss him. My fingers dance along his bare spine, lower and lower, down to the waistband of his boxer shorts, until he holds his breath, then I slowly slide back up.
“Don’t worry. I’m not going any further or doing anything new. I’ve touched you like this before. At the lake, when I was putting sunscreen on your back.”
“But we weren’t together then, you had no expectations of me.”
“Jannis, look at me. Tell me what you want, and I promise you nothing else will happen.”
Hesitantly, he leans back, his gaze lifts, and I can see that he’s constructing an answer in his head. “Can we... can you kiss me? And then I’m spooning you and... because I’m the taller one.”
“Then come down to me.”
With one hand on the back of his neck, I gently pull him toward me until our lips touch. “Like this?”
“More?”
The tip of my tongue nudges his lower lip, and he immediately opens up for me. Our tongues find each other, playing together in their own unique rhythm. Jannis’s tension eases, he’s becoming bolder, wilder, losing himself more andmore, and when he pulls me toward him, he is just as hard as I am. “Thank you for coming.”
“Anything for you, sunshine.”
“Sleep well,ma lune.”
“Sleep well.”
Chapter 33
Jannis
Something rumbles.
Outside.
Something warm is pressing against my chest. Slowly, the world around me comes into focus, and I don’t know if it’s relief, but an incredibly light feeling rushes through my body as I realize what, or rather who, is warm against my body.
Dayyan is here. I wasn’t dreaming. Tears fill my eyes and I move a little closer to him. Never in my life has anyone done anything like this for me, traveled a thousand kilometers by train and bus just to be with me. I know, for some people this is the bare minimum, but for me it’s unbelievable.
“Good morning, sunshine.” Dayyan turns in my arms and my breath catches. This is my boyfriend? Is this real? Fuck, what did I do to deserve this? What did I do to deserve him?
His thick black hair is tousled and sticking out in all directions. One eye is half open, a slight smile playing around his lips. “Did you sleep well?”
