The sun sets, painting the sky a delicate pink. The colors will probably become even more intense as the sun sinks lower.
“Oh, wow.” Dayyan looks up in amazement. “I love the sunsets here.”
“There’s hardly anything more beautiful than watching the sun disappear behind the Vosges mountains.”
“I’ve never seen that.”
Surprised, I turn around so abruptly that Dayyan startles next to me.
“Are you serious?!” He shrugs his shoulders sheepishly. “Come on, it’s still early enough. I know the best spot.”
“Now?” He looks at me incredulously.
“Yes, now!” I jump on my feet in one swift movement and pull Dayyan up with me. “If we go now, we’ll be up there in fifteen minutes!”
“Up there?” His eyes grow wider and wider, and I grab his hand, laughing. Pulling him along, not even noticing when our fingers intertwine and not letting go until we’re standing in front of my car.
Our front door opens and a head of black hair peeks out. Up close, you could see the slightly gray-streaked temples, but the distance flatters my father.
“Jannis?”
“Hey, Papa! We’re going to the white cross. Sunset. We have to.”
Dayyan next to me waves uncertainly. “Hello, Mr. Delfosse.”
“Hello, Dayyan. Go on, or you’ll miss the best part.” Papa is smiling, I can hear it in his voice, but I don’t have time to think about that now. With Flocke in the back, we set off.
We reach the bench behind the white cross at just the right time. The delicate pink turns into an increasingly intense orange-red, which is refracted by a few wisps of clouds, enhancing the effect.
Satisfied, I let myself fall onto the seat and watch Dayyan as he gazes in amazement across the Rhine valley.
“Want me to show you something?” I walk over to him to the edge of the hill and stand right behind him. My chest touches his back, and even though I know it’s wrong, my body wants his so badly that I can’t stop it, and neither does Dayyan. He leans in softly, and I close my eyes for a moment.
“That’s the schoolyard over there.” My arm is on his shoulder, very close to his face. “That’s the church at our school a little further back. And do you see the tower way back there, the dark tall one? That’s Strasbourg Cathedral.”
“Really? It looks so close! So those mountains are really the Vosges mountains?”
I nod, my head so close to his he can feel it. “Incredibly beautiful, isn’t it?” Now Dayyan nods, and I feel his hair tickling my cheek. Not for the first time, it awakes desires I don’t want to admit to myself. But I know they’re there, and I don’t know what I’m more afraid of, following them or letting them fade away when I try suppress them.
I’m sorry, Danny. I’m so terribly sorry. I don’t want this, but I can’t help it. I’m not strong enough. Don’t leave me alone. Please don’t go.
Chapter 20
Dayyan
“Where are we going?”
“Up.” Funny. I can see that for myself. I’ve been running up a mountain behind Jannis for twenty minutes, my lungs are burning, and he’s not even breathing heavily.
“Almost there, and the view will be fantastic.” My view already is fantastic. I could stop right here and be happy. But I don’t say that out loud. I’m still trying to come to terms with my attraction to him.
Jannis walks ahead of me, his ass tensing with every step, his T-shirt sticking to his back with sweat. I want to touch him, grab him, run my finger along his spine. I want to lay my head on his back and take a deep breath, put my hands on his chest and feel his heartbeat.
It’s probably going to get really hot today, but we’re out early and the forest provides shade. That disappears when we step into a clearing with a tall tower. “We’re almost there. You’re not afraid of heights, are you?”
Completely out of breath, I shake my head and struggle up the stairs.
“What keeps you so damn fit? You don’t really do any sports, do you?”
