Nicolas shook himself. “I can’t think like that, I know.”
“You’ll find them,” he said again, firmer.
“You’re right,” Nicolas said, like he was trying to convince himself. “I will find them. I just… have no idea how.”
Ashmedai stayed quiet.
“Someone has to be guarding them. Bringing them food. Checking on them. That means someone won’t be showing up for drills or patrols. So I should be on the lookout for squads with a missing member or two at random times.”
“Yes.” This was good. He could be on to something. “And then?”
“Once I know who’s guarding the kids, I can… follow them. Or have one of the demons follow them.”
“Talon, Shadrach, Valac. They can hide in shadows, teleport. Easily follow a human.”
“Good, that’s good. So once I know someone, anyone, who knows where the kids are, all I have to do is tell the Sentinels who to follow and keep my head down until the kids are free.”
“And then we burn it all down,” Ashmedai said gleefully.
Nicolas sputtered out a laugh. “I’m not saying no. I just may not want to be the one lighting the match. After all of this is over, I’d like a break. I want to spend time with youand Danny and remember what it’s like to not be a piece of shit.”
Ashmedai pulled back with an offended growl. “You are not!”
“But I’m spending all my time acting like one,” he said.
“Not real. Not you.” He leaned in, peppering Nicolas’s pouting face with kisses. “Never. Beautiful, my light. Not shit.”
Nicolas’s sigh gusted across Ashmedai’s chin and jaw. “Let’s go to bed.”
“Yes. You need sleep.”
They stood, but when they were on their feet, Nicolas grabbed him, forcibly turning Ashmedai to face him as his eyes raked up and down his body.
“Whoa, wait. You’re wearing new clothes! I didn’t notice when you came in because I was almost asleep.”
Ashmedai looked down at himself, fidgeting nervously with the lapel of his coat. “Yes. Shadrach bought them. Is it okay? Feels weird.”
“It… It looks great. Wow. I can see the shape of your body.” Nicolas met his eyes, smiling tentatively. “The cloak kept you pretty covered up. But this… I feel like I can see you.”
“Oh.” He hadn’t considered that—nor had he considered that seeing his body might be something Nicolaswanted. He was inhuman and assumed looking at him would be strange and uncomfortable for a human. But Nicolas’s gaze roamed his body hungrily, and his hands soon followed, flattening against Ashmedai’s chest, moving up to his shoulders and down his arms. To his hips and under his coat, gliding up his sides and around, under the back of his coat. Ashmedai rumbled pleasantly, his eyes unfocusing as his attentionturned inward, on the sensation of his human’s hands exploring his body in places rarely touched by another being.
“I want to touch you,” Nicolas breathed. “Want to touch you everywhere. Learn every inch.”
Ashmedai pressed closer, clawed fingers curling around Nicolas’s tender throat and guiding his head up. He sealed their lips together, slipping his tongue past Nicolas’s plush lips to taste the silken inside of his mouth.
Nicolas said bed, and Ashmedai intended to get him there. He hooked his hands under Nicolas’s rear and lifted him effortlessly. Nicolas clung to his shoulders and wrapped his legs around Ashmedai’s waist. He was strong for a human, sturdy, but he felt so lightweight and delicate in Ashmedai’s arms.
He carried him carefully into the bedroom and laid him out on the mattress, peeling each article of clothing off with care.
“Ash, let me see you,” Nicolas pleaded, gripping the hem of his hood. “Please, I want to see all of you.”
For the first time, Ashmedai considered it. He was starting to believe that Nicolas wouldn’t turn away in horror or disgust. But still he shook his head.
“Not yet.” He touched Nicolas’s damp lips softly. “Not yet, my light. Not ready.” Things between them still felt so fragile. He was afraid seeing how different he really was would give Nicolas second thoughts.
Nicolas smiled sadly. “Okay. Whenever you’re ready, then. I promise, I’ll like what I see.”
“I hope so. I am… different.” He’d never cared about his appearance before, but being around the others had made it painfully obvious exactly how inhuman he really was.
