Ashmedai hummed an affirmative sound. “Called them leverage. Said he might have other uses for them. Even change their names, make them guild members.”
“Christ Almighty,” Nicolas groaned. “You can’t just forcechildren to take up arms and fight for your cause. That’s not how this works.”
“Mm. Up to you now,” he added somberly.
“Yeah. I’m working on it. I’m going patrolling with James’s squad again tomorrow night. They’ve eased up a little during training, too, so at least I’ve passed all their stupid training tests.”
“Don’t like.”
“I know you don’t. I hope this means I’m getting closer, though. Maybe I’ll have something I can take back to the Sentinels soon.”
“Hope,” Ashmedai agreed, nuzzling Nicolas’s short curls. “Tired?”
Nicolas sighed. “Yeah. It’s been a long week.”
“You should sleep, then.”
“I will. Let’s just stay like this a little longer.”
That was fine with Ashmedai. Nicolas was boneless and warm in his arms, his closeness soothing the tangled barbs that started to ache when they were separated. Good sex was a fine foundation, as Nicolas had said, but moments like this were better. Moments when everything felt right. Nicolas was in his arms, where he belonged, and nothing else mattered.
“Tell me… Tell me something you want to do together after I leave the guild.”
Ashmedai raised his head to peer down at Nicolas’s profile. “Like what?”
“Anything. Just tell me something you want to do that we can’t do right now. Give me something to look forward to.”
Ashmedai hesitated. Was Nicolas hoping to hear something in particular? He didn’t know anything about whathuman relationships were like. So he just focused on the truth. That would have to be good enough.
“I want to see you in the light,” he said. “Want to see you smile. Want to watch you eat.”
A surprised chuckle fell from Nicolas. “Watch me eat?”
“Yes. Humans eat so differently than I. Seen the others eat. The way their jaws and throats move. Want to see you do it.”
“Okay, fair enough. Eating, I can do that. You’ll probably see me do that a lot, actually. Humans are supposed to eat at least three meals a day. And paladins eat more, because we’re so active.”
“I know.” He nuzzled Nicolas’s hair. “And you? Something you look forward to?”
Nicolas’s fingers slid between his own. “There’s a lot of stuff you’ve never seen before. Earth stuff. Human stuff. I’d like to show you. Things like swimming in the ocean and the view on a mountaintop. Even silly stuff like television shows and movies.”
“Yes. Want to see everything. With you.” He paused, remembering the tentative feeling of acceptance that had reached him with Daniel’s touch. “Daniel says he’s rooting for you.”
Nicolas turned so suddenly he nearly fell off the couch. Ashmedai yanked him back, and he let out a choked sound at the squeezing. “You saw Danny? How is he? Is he okay? He did good, he hasn’t gone back to his apartment. Sloan asked me about him, and I told him we haven’t spoken. He even checked my phone to be sure. I’m really glad they gave us those burner phones.”
“He’s fine. Staying in the Rink for now.” Daniel could probably get more use out of the apartment above the clubthan Ashmedai would. Maybe he should tell them to let Daniel use it. Ashmedai rarely went there. It was mostly a place to store the spare clothes Shadrach had bought him and occasionally a place to wait out the day.
Nicolas blew out a breath. “I miss him. We used to see each other every day, y’know? When I was a squad captain, he and Julian were in my squad. We were all very close. Julian would host dinners at his house, and the whole squad would go over there.” He sighed. “Sloan divided us long before you came along. Daniel was caught going to meetings with people who didn’t agree with Sloan. The rest of our squad was loyal to Sloan, so they turned on Danny, and by association Julian and me, too. Then Julian decided he wanted to leave the guild. Then Sloan took Danny off my team ‘for our own good,’ and everything’s just been awful ever since. I don’t blame Jules for leaving when he did. I’ve held on for longer than I probably should’ve.”
“Your family,” Ashmedai said, remembering what Nicolas told him about his parents being in the guild.
“Yeah. At some point your legacy stops mattering when real people are getting hurt. I should’ve taken a stand a long time ago instead of letting things go on. It was up to the captains to bring their concerns up to Sloan. Too many of us stayed quiet, hoping things would blow over. You can’t stay quiet when lives are on the line. Nobody tried to reign Sloan in, and now look what’s happened. He’s holding children hostage and justifying it how? Because those kids don’t believe the same as him? The Sentinels took care of them. Ofcoursethat’s who they’re going to be loyal to.”
Ashmedai slipped his hand under Nicolas’s shirt, pressing his palm flat against his stomach, needing that skin to skin contact. “You’ll findthem.”
“I hope so. I feel like I’m running out of time. And nobody’s spoken to the kids. We don’t even know if they’re really okay. What if they’re dead?”
Ashmedai growled. He didn’t know much about human nature, but hedidknow that it was counterproductive for Nicolas to think that he was doing all of this for nothing. They had no reason to give up hope yet, so Ashmedai wouldn’t let him entertain this.
