Nicolas nodded distractedly. “Any chance you have an extra one I could give my brother? He needs allies, too.”
“Of course,” Nathan said earnestly.
“Speaking of stuff,” Shadrach said, “Ashmedai, there’s a box in your apartment for you. I know you like the whole ‘evil monster’ look you’ve got going on, but you might want to modernize a bit.”
Nicolas glanced between them, unable to hide his curiosity. Ashmedai had anapartment? And they’d ordered him modern clothing? He could scarcely imagine it. Did that mean he would have to take the hood off? What did he really look like under there? A brief shot of jealousy hit him at the thought of the other guys here getting to see his face. Was Nicolas the only one he hid from?
Ashmedai huffed noncommittally.
Nathan fetched two brand new prepaid phones, still in the packages, and wrote down everyone’s phone numbers for him to plug into the contacts list later. Nicolas had already saved Julian’s new number in his phone under ‘Tony’s Pizza.’
He didn’t realize they’d all gone quiet until he looked up from the plastic packaging and found them all staring at him.
“How are you going to find the kids?” Julian asked.
Nicolas had an idea. He’d have to get closer to Sloan, make himself trustworthy. It would take some time, some groveling, and a lot of humiliation. But hopefully it would be worth it in the long run.
“I’d rather not say,” he said reluctantly. “The less you know, the better.”
Julian sighed. “Fine. Take care of yourself, okay? And just so you know, Ashmedai has agreed to stop killing paladinsfor a little while. We’re going to make it look like we’ve hunted him down and killed him like Sloan wanted. Hopefully once he sees the killings have stopped, he’ll release the kids, and then you can just get the hell out of there.”
Nicolas smiled wanly. He didn’t have much room in his life for hope these days.
Chapter 8
Ashmedai
When they reappearedin Nicolas’s dark bedroom, Ashmedai didn’t want to let him go. His arms tightened around his human, one palm sliding up the length of his spine to press their bodies flush. Nicolas sighed, melting into the touch, leaning in until his nose brushed the hollow of Ashmedai’s shadowed throat. His soft breaths were warm and damp, and Ashmedai ducked his head to inhale the sweet scent of Nicolas’s hair.
Outwardly, he was calm, but frustration had claws in his stomach. There were other things he couldn’t even identify. Something squeezed his lungs. His chest hurt with a physical pain he’d never experienced before. The thought of Nicolas leaving him to go back into the midst of people who had hurt him made all of the feelings worse. He should be able to protect his human, but he couldn’t protect him there. And if he couldn’t protect him, then he shouldn’t go there. He shouldn’t go where Ashmedai couldn’t follow.
“Don’t go.” He didn’t mean to say the words, but there was no taking them back now.
Nicolas sighed, not moving. “I know you don’t like it, but I have to.”
“Why?” His jaw ached with the need to bite something.
“I have to help those kids.”
“Why?” It wasn’t his responsibility to protect those young humans. Why should Nicolas put himself in danger for their sake? Ashmedai didn’t understand.
Nicolas raised his head to frown up at him. “Haven’t you ever done anything for selfless reasons?”
That made no sense. Why would he? “No.” He pointed at himself. “Demon.”
Nicolas snorted. Ashmedai didn’t like the bitterness in the sound. “Right. Well, protecting people is what I do. Even when I’m no longer a paladin, I’ll still want to help people.”
“No,” Ashmedai said petulantly. “Dangerous.”
“Yeah,” Nicolas insisted. He tried to push Ashmedai away, but Ashmedai clung to him. “Sometimes I’ll do dangerous things if it means helping someone in need.”
He sank his claws into the back of Nicolas’s shirt. He couldn’t put himself in danger if Ashmedai didn’t let go of him. “Butmine.”
Nicolas sighed, looking away. “Maybe. I don’t know how I feel about that.”
Maybe?Maybe?Ashmedai growled, leaning closer. Nicolas said he felt the connection between them, too. He couldn’t deny it now. Ashmedai needed to be inside Nicolas again, needed to remind them both of the connection between them.
But Nicolas planted his forearm against Ashmedai’s chest, arching his back not in pleasure but to create distance between them. It wasn’t right. The thing around his heart squeezed tighter, and no amount of growling scared it away.
