Jacob’s warm body, covered in fragrant sweat, rests on top of mine. His hands caress my arms softly, slowly bringing me back to my senses. He pants close to my ear, murmuring something I can’t quite understand. I take a deep breath and force my eyes open. I know his face is right next to mine, because his glowing eyes are the only thing I can make out of what I’m seeing.
“Did I blow your mind?” He laughs softly.
My lips curl into a smile, as if they have a mind of their own. I blink a few times, trying to get my eyes to focus again. Jacob is partially on top of me, and partially by my side. I’m keeping him in place with my legs wrapped firmly around his hips, and my arms also holding him tight. When did I do that? Have I lostcontrol to that extent? A cold panic rushes through me, forcing my entire consciousness to return in an instant.
“I—” I can’t speak. My voice is hoarse and my throat hurts like hell.
Did I choke on his blood that hard?
“I think that answers my question.” Jacob grins and plants a soft kiss on my lips. “It’s okay, honey. Relax, I’m right here with you.”
My legs and arms finally release him, but I can’t stop myself from running a lazy hand through his long hair. It’s so damn soft, and it smells of musk and the scent of our blood mixed together: honey and maple syrup. His skin is so warm against mine, and our bodies fit together like two halves of the same thing.
I feel deeply connected to him, strangely so. My insides and veins are still tingling with the aftershock of my orgasm, my mind almost completely blank. As I close my eyes, I let Jacob’s scent comfort me and lull me to sleep. I simply can’t do anything else.
Eleven
Killien
Owen and Abby run back inside to sing and dance with their friends as a song they all seem to love starts playing, but I stay on the balcony. Why? I don’t even know, honestly. My only excuse is the cigarette between my fingers, although I could smoke inside. The music is loud enough to keep my ears protected from whatever is happening in Jacob’s bedroom, but I still can’t force myself to join the group.
I think I managed to seem interested in Owen—and I am. I do like him. I guess I’m just too confused by the whole Damien thing. He still hasn’t come out of the room, and neither hasJacob. It’s been more than an hour. I know, because I can’t stop checking the damn time on my phone.
I’m such a fool.
I turn around and lean on the balcony’s iron fence, watching over the parking lot of the apartment complex again. The night is quiet and peaceful, besides the music and singing voices coming from inside. There’s a cool breeze too, adequate for the winter in a city such as Phoenix. It used to be my favorite time of the year, both because Damien’s birthday is in January and because I hated the heat. Now, I don’t care so much. Vampires don’t struggle to adjust to temperatures, we don’t feel particularly hot or cold, and we don’t sweat in the burning Arizona heat. That might be my favorite perk of immortality.
My brain tries to convince me to send Damien a text. It’s about the fourteenth time that damn thought crosses my mind. But what the hell would I even say? Ask if he’s okay? Send a meme? Ask him to stop sucking Jacob’s dick and get his ass out here so we can go home? Tell him I want to be in that bed with him, instead of Jacob? My stomach turns and my heart races the more I let my mind wander. I can’t make sense of my own thoughts.
I’m seriously fucked-up.
The knot in my throat tightens as tears gather in the corners of my eyes. I should be happy for Damien, seriously. It’s the first time that he’s with someone who seems . . . stable. Maybe even normal. Normal for a vampire, at least. He’s good, and gentle, and has his shit together. None of Damien’s recent boyfriends did. They were terrible, not even kind to him. Jacob, on the other hand, looks like he could take care of him.
He doesn’t need you anymore, Killien. Deal with it.
It physically hurts to have that thought.
I huff out a laugh and cry at the same time. What a mess. I’m making a spectacle of myself, isolated from the other vampiresbecause I have issues with my younger brother having a life of his own. It’s pathetic, really.
“What are you doing out here alone?” The sound of Jacob’s voice makes me stop breathing altogether. I quickly wipe away my tears and take a puff of the cigarette.
Jacob rests his hands on the black iron fence beside me, looking around as if there was something interesting to notice on the cream-colored stucco on the walls. He smells intensely of his musk-and-leather perfume, but there’s a sweet undertone to it. Sweet like vampire blood and sweat. Sweat that seems to exist only to spread our scent around when we’re aroused, or nervous, or trying to seduce prey. I cringe at the notion of what it means.
“Just smoking,” I say, after breathing out a cloud of ugly smoke. At least my voice isn’t broken. I think I can fake being okay.
“You getting along with the gang?” He turns to look at me with his gentle dark brown eyes, leaning on his left elbow. The smile on his face makes my stomach turn in rage. He looks completely satisfied. By what he just did with Damien, of course.
“Yeah, they’re cool.” I fake a smile.
“Owen is kinda into you, I think.” Jacob laughs. “He won’t stop staring.”
I avoid his gaze and bring the cigarette to my lips again. What am I supposed to say? Probably that I like him too, but my body refuses to speak the words. All I can think of is the image of Damien spread out in Jacob’s bed, and the things that were likely done to him.
“Are you alright, Killien?” Jacob’s gaze burns on my face as he stares. I brush it off with a shrug.
Fuck. No, I’m seriously not.
“You can talk to me, you know?” he insists, and I finally look back at him. “I won’t tell Damien, if it’s something you’d rather keep from him. He doesn’t need to know everything.”
