She lifted her head to kiss me, and although I wanted that more than breathing at that moment, I locked up my emotions inside of a cage, within a box, just as Emma had done with the anger inside of her, and I tested my strength to saynoto what I wanted.
“Not here, Emma. Believe me, I want to,” I whispered. The physical desires I had not dealt with often in my past suddenly seemed like a mountain, which I was required to climb with very little air in my lungs. But I could resist; I could saynoand be stronger, make myself different fromthem.I came closer to temptation, my breath grazing her lips. “But not with so many eyes. I don't want people to see what I am going to do to you.” I nearly gave in then. Getting so close to temptation, and still being able to resist it, made me smile. Indeed, those emotions made me feel weaker than a newborn baby in need of a nursemaid or a mother, but I remained strong.
“Sorry, I just—I cannot believe that this is real. Pinch me or something,” she said with a laugh as she touched my cheeks, my jaw, and then traced my lips with her finger. I almost unlocked the cage right then, ready to push her against the brick wall and taste her lips. Never had anyone touched me in such a way before; it was indescribable. The scent that came from her hinted at strawberries, and I wanted to devour her. I counted the multiple ways that I could achieve that end–how I could move her into a dark alcove, how I could take her face into my hands and force her to give me everything I wanted. Over and over, the options were laid out before me. In only a few seconds, I had five options, and I wanted to give in to four of them, which led me to the option I needed to pursue. I pictured in my mind how easy it would be to give in to the physical desire and to my need for her—but that would not aid me in my ultimate goal. There were a few things I knew about in life: I could go through it led by my physical desires and wishes, I could be led by the emotions that were streaming through me, or I could choose to live above them both and do what best suited my ultimate goal. True strength dwelled in giving up what I truly wanted in the moment—for the pursuit of what I needed in the future.
I wouldn't be like Tarick. I wouldn’t come blazing in when I was enraged, and use another person to beat out all my feelings from inside of myself. No, I was not going to do that. I was better than Tarick, better than my weak father because I had control over that something which they attempted to have over me, but they never had it. I reigned in those emotions and compulsions, reminding myself that I was in control of my melody—and of myself. I locked up cages and filed them away with a smile. How easy it was, once I discovered the ability to categorize emotions and only use them when needed. I needed to make sure that they remained locked away. I sighed as she touched the back of my neck, and looking at Emma again made me want to forgeteverything that I had just thought. I couldn't give in, though; I had won that test of strength. I closed my eyes.I can do it; I knew that I could. No melody was going to get the best of me, not even my own.
“Emma, my love—” I leaned my cheek against hers, both as another test, and yet as a fulfilled desire that would not sacrifice my goals. I almost thanked the knight when he pulled me from Emma's arms because I didn't know how much longer I was going to last. Our melodies called to both of us to become one with each other.
“What are you doing here?” the knight shouted as he shoved me against the wall. I could see the fire in his eyes; I knew he loved Emma. I could see it so plainly. I would let him have his little moment of power, let him think he had a chance.Why not?Maybe someday, he would underestimate me because he believed that he could control me.Yes, that works in my favor. Let him think he has a chance.
“No! Stop it. Ryker, are you crazy?” Emma moved to push Ryker away from me, but he didn't budge, and he didn't look at her, his eyes ever fixed upon mine.
“You made a deal; you were supposed to leave!”
I didn't answer, just smiled.
“Ryker, stop it. What are you doing? Don't hurt him! Everything is okay now; can't you see that?”
Ryker looked at Emma. She started to cry; she reached out to my melody; our melodies met and sang together in perfect harmony.
“What did you do to her, you piece of slime?” Ryker pushed harder against my throat.
I was fine still, so I turned to Emma while speaking into her soul.I am okay, sweet, just go.
I will never leave you, Shad.
I cringed as she called me, ‘Shad.’ I knew who she thought I was, and the proof of his name from her lips should not have wounded me as much as it did in that moment. But it had.Ridiculous softness of melodies, I cursed.
Ryker looked between us. “Howdare youtalk to her like that. Do not soul-speak with her.”
“Ryker!” Emma screamed, again pulling at his shirt. Then she started hitting his chest over and over again. The knight held her wrists with one hand still on me, although at any moment, I could have easily pulled away and set Emma aside. But it was important to let himthinkhe had a chance.
“Emma, calm down; let me take care of him. I won't ruin Shad’s melody.”
Take care of me?I would love to have seen him attempt to do that. I tried hard not to laugh.
“Emma, just go; I love you; I don't want you to get hurt,” I said softly in my most Shadrict-like voice. I wasn't sure how long the game was going to last, but I was quite enjoying myself. It was nice to see Emma beating up the knight for me, something I am sure she could never really do—but I appreciated the effort all the same. And I was entirely enjoying Ryker’s irritation and the flashes of anger in his eyes. His melody was shielded, and I wondered how corrupt he was himself—wondered why he shielded his soul all of the time. I turned to Ryker as he started directing his shouting toward me again.
“You know nothing of love! You, soulless prince, are incapable of it!” Ryker’s face was turning red as he shouted.
I rolled my eyes and looked down the hall, noticing a figure walking toward us. I knew who it was, and looked over at Emma, gauging her reaction. My brother was coming. Things were about to get all the more exciting. Emma looked back and forth between Shadrict and me, confusion bubbling from her melody like a volcano ready to explode. She closely examined my face,my features, which were very similar to my brothers, but just different enough that one should be able to tell us apart. She had not been able to, however, and I wondered what that said about her?Is she more drawn to the melody or to the person?In that situation, it seemed, the former was true.
“Cade?” she whispered, stepping back.
I didn't miss the disgust in her tone, and I figured that I did deserve some of her negative feelings. After all, she did believe that I was the cause of all of her most recent sorrows. But I had not lied to her for her entire life. I did not guard her soul. I wasn't the one who hid who she was.Nope—that had been her parents. And, in my limited experience with parents—namely fathers, they were not all they were cracked up to be. Honestly, I wished I hadn't ever had one, more often than not.
How could this be real?She whispered again between our souls. It seemed the charade was over; time to be myself.
“Hello there, sweetness. Miss me?” I winked at her. She ran to me and slapped the side of my face. The sting barely fazed me.I guess I did deserve that, sweet, but can you kiss it better now?I would have thoroughly enjoyed a kiss, but I knew it was better to wait her out. I learned a lot from that confrontation. I learned that she could be tricked enough by my melody to get physically close to me. With time, I was sure that I would be able to wear her down. She would see that I wasn't the corrupt soul that she thought I was, that I wasn’t evil, as they said on Earth, which was what she was most familiar with.
Don't talk to me like this,she said inside of my soul.
Ah, I couldn't give her up, probably not ever. I wanted her, and when I wanted a thing, I didn't stop until it was mine.
The fire danced in her eyes as she spoke within my soul, and I wanted to melt into her. I shook that thought away. Getting emotional was not the right direction at that moment.Wejust made sense, because of our souls. They were connected. I didrealize that emotions had a larger part to play in using melodies than I had ever realized. Most likely, that was because I never really had many emotions, being the soulless that I was. But I wasn't going to get my brand-new emotions involved with a girl who loved my brother and wanted me dead. I would wait until she was ready. I had all the time in the worlds. If there was one thing that I was good at, it was waiting.
You and I are special, Emma.
