She looked at me from under her lashes. “For the night.”
Her expression held a hint of wariness, like she was bracing for whatever my reaction would be, but trying to look like she didn’t care.
Shit.DidI care if she was willing to fuck that guy for money? She’d fucked me for money too. I wasn’t necessarily bothered she was going to be with him. I was bothered that meant she couldn’t be with me.
I wanted her with an intensity that made no sense. I never pursued women like this. That’s why my pickup game was such a disaster. I didn’t know how to play it cool when I wanted someone this badly.
“What would it take to make you mine for the night instead?”
This time it was a coy smile that tugged at her mouth. “There’s not enough money in the world. He’s a regular.”
10
ZANE
Now
“I’m gonna head out before they get here. Text me when you’re done,” Kelly said.
I glanced at my watch. “Shit. Is it already time?”
Kelly laughed. “I’ve never seen a man look less excited to get laid. Cancel if you’re not feelin’ it.”
He thought that’s all there was to it, but the likelihood I was about to get laid was slim to none…but even that was worth taking a chance for. Maia had to hear me out first, which is why I’d asked for her to be wearing the blindfold. I needed her to show up and stay long enough to listen to what I had to say. If dinner at my brother’s place was anything to go by, she’d dismiss me upon sight otherwise.
I felt like I was crawling out of my skin and I needed to do something to take the edge off. I couldn’t start a tour like this. I tried not to even think about taking something, rejecting the spiral I’d gone down with pills once before. I didn’t consider myself an addict, but the allure of being either buzzed or detached had been far too great for a while there and too many people were willing to write me a prescription for whatever I wanted, no questions asked.
And just that reminder made me say, “It’s fine.”
Kelly didn’t need to know the whole story.
His hand brushed the back of my shoulders. “Want me to stay?”
I glanced up in surprise. We hadn’t reopened that door and he hadn’t given any sign he wanted to. As appealing as it sounded, the last thing I needed was a pity fuck from my best friend.
My toxic trait was always wanting more from my partners than they were willing to give, and Kelly had been no exception. He’d said he wasn’t looking for the kind of relationship I was, and after that the sex got too complicated. I almost immediately realized he was right that a relationship between us made no sense, but it felt like he was constantly worrying I was hoping for more, so then I was overcompensating like I had to prove to him I wasn’t all the time.
The vibe was weird and the sex wasn’t worth muddying those waters. He mattered too much to me to risk things getting messy.
“Nah, I’m good,” I said without looking at him.
He shrugged and patted me on the shoulder as he left.
Everyone else was already in London ready to start the tour. I’d invented reasons not to go until the last minute and I was pretty sure Kelly had stayed behind purely to babysit me and make sure I actually got on the plane over there.
I sat there waiting, remembering another time I’d been waiting for an escort to get there. How nervous I’d been to have my first time be with a pro. And how it had all been obliterated when Maia showed up.
She had enough confidence for both of us.
As soon as I’d seen her, I stopped being nervous about all the emotional baggage I had around it being my first time. And got real nervous about disappointing her.
Someone yanked me back to the present when they rapped on the wall of the plane and a male voiced called, “Key Club security.”
“Back here!”
A huge white guy in aviators eventually appeared and gave me a nod, subtly surveying the rest of the plane. “Enjoy your date, sir.”
Without another word, he retreated, leaving only expectant silence in his wake.
