I had not laughedoncesince he left me.
Hurt flashed across his face as my silence became the answer he dreaded. “You promised me, Sera! You promised you would try to be happy!”
I threw my hand down through the water. “I tried, Riyan! This whole time, I tried!”
“Try harder. Eat something decadent. Go sit by yourself and sew. Wrap yourself in all the Hyton jewels!”
“You think that will make me happy? Isolation and riches?”
“No!”
“Seeing the Bloodstone lilies made me happy.” My chest shook even as my magic held me steady. “Reading faerie stories with you made me happy. Or when we shared meals. Or when you laughed in the face of darkness over and over.”
Riyan’s shoulders dropped. “Serafina, don’t—”
“You.” Though my white flame was bright as the sun within my chest, my lungs tightened. I took a tiny sip of air as I fought a sob. “Youmade me happy. At first I could not untangle what was magic and what was real between us. Then I convinced myself nothing was ever there because I could not bear the thought that I had lost you.”
“Serafina, please—”
“I buried myself in lies until I choked.” My heart raced and my chest tightened. “I told myself that I never knew you, or that you never could have loved me, but the problem was never you, it wasme.”
Riyan’s eyes watered. “Sera, stop.”
“I have everything I ever wanted in this damn palace, but I am suffocating without you. I only breathe when I am with you!”
His stunned silence was deafening. My throat trembled, but I forced out the words. “How can you expect me to be happy when I cannot even breathe?”
The weight of the past eighteen days crashed down on me all at once. The poison. The violation. The failed plans. The burden of Derrick’s fragile state.
My heart thudded against my ribs as I sobbed. I ran my thumb over the scrap of linen fabric as an invisible fist gripped my lungs tighter and tighter.
“Sera!” Riyan raised his hands to try to hold my face, but his fingers hit the invisible barrier between worlds.
He snarled in frustration and pushed. The barrier gave a little under his immense strength, but would not break.
The magic weakened in the water around me and my heart pounded faster. My magic was failing me. I was going to drown.
Riyan’s palms flattened against the invisible barrier. “Breathe, sweetheart. Breathe.”
My eyes clouded with tears as I struggled to get in air, but my hands slowly floated up to meet Riyan’s on the side of the living world.
I could not be afraid. Riyan was there.
I let out a cool, shaking breath as my heartbeat started to calm down. His soft words of encouragement traced my ears and my chest filled up with life again. I blinked away my tears and looked into his eyes that were beautiful as the open sky.
My white flame spun, pushing out the warmest truth I could tell. “I love you, Riyan.”
He smiled, showing off his sweet dimple. “I know—I’ve known since I got here.” He laughed softly. “You said it in my mind before I left.”
My heart swelled. Hedidhear me on Nordingaard.
My eyes dropped to the bits of white fabric peeking out from behind my palm. I was not yet powerful enough to transport myself, but what about a tiny scrap of linen?
I closed my eyes, focusing on the magic within the fabric. The tears sparkled back at me and my white flame spilled my love into them, twisting the warmth of the water around my hands until nothing was left in my fingertips.
Go to Riyan. Show him I love him.
I opened my eyes and the fabric was in Riyan’s right hand.
