“But he could still become a good father,” Heather pressed.
“He could, but what can I do? I can’t force him to get there. It will happen or it won’t.”
“And you don’t believe it will?”
“I don’t believe it has, so far. I just… I guess I let myself forget it over the last few weeks. I let myself believe that he was as excited at the idea of becoming a parent as I was. But that was never true, and I should have known it.”
“Do you really think he doesn’t care about the baby at all?” Heather asked, her eyes searching Chelsea’s face. “I mean… he is still going to pay for everything, right? That hasn’t changed.”
“He wants to do the right thing.”
“That’s good, at least.”
“It is. I’m grateful for that.” She sighed, “I just got it into my head that we were going to be raising this kid together, and now it isn’t like that.”
“It’s more than that, isn’t it?” Heather asked her gently. “It wasn’t just co-parenting you were hoping for. The way you talked about him… I know it wasn’t just that one kiss months ago.”
“It was, though,” Chelsea insisted. “Nothing else ever happened between the two of us.”
“Really? Nothing at all?”
“I never slept with him. I never even kissed him again after that.”
“But there are a thousand little things that can happen between two people,” Heather pressed. “Just… little touches. Eye contact. The moments when you look at each other and feel sure that you’re understanding one another perfectly, in a way nobody else ever has. That’s what my marriage was like in the beginning. Losing that was how I knew we had reached the end of the road.”
Chelsea was quiet. She knew exactly what kind of moments her friend was talking about, because there had been dozens of them. Heather was right. Thatwaswhat she was missing now. Not just the promise of their time raising the baby together, but the potential for something more between herself and Miles.
I promised myself I wouldn’t fall in love with him. And I did. There’s no point in trying to deny it anymore. I fell in love, and now I’m heartbroken because it’s obvious he never saw me as anything more than a means to an end.
She had no one to blame but herself. He had never promised her anything more. He had told her from the start what he could offer. And she had agreed. It wasn’t Miles’s fault Chelsea had developed this yearning. It was her own irresponsibility.
“Chelsea,” Heather said quietly, her voice laced with sympathy.
Chelsea felt tears rising. “How could I have been so stupid?”
“Oh, honey. You’re not stupid.”
“I am, though. I knew exactly who he was, Heather. Right from the start. He’s a good man, but his work is what he cares about. His work and his father’s legacy. He told me all of that the day I met him. Iknewnothing was going to change. I just… hoped. And I was so stupid to hope.”
“Hope is never stupid,” Heather said softly. “You wanted it to be something more. It makes sense, Chelsea. He’s the father of your child. Whatever else might have happened between the two of you, he’s still that, and he always will be.”
Chelsea sighed. “I know. And everything is going to be all right. I know that too. In fact… maybe this is good. I mean, it isn’t good that Silas is gone. Miles might not believe it, but I wanted him to meet the baby as much ashedid. He was such a good man, and he would have been a wonderful grandfather. It’s a tragedy that they won’t get to know each other.”
Heather nodded. “You’ll have to make sure to keep Silas alive for the baby. It’s lucky you had the chance to get to know him before he passed, so you’ll be able to share your memories of him.”
Chelsea smiled. “That’s a nice way to think of it. You’re right. I’ll have all kinds of stories to tell my child. I just… I guess I got it into my head that we would be telling those stories together.”
“Maybe you still will,” Heather said. “You don’t know what’s going to happen. Maybe you and Miles will move past this.”
“No,” Chelsea said steadily. “I got my hopes up already, and I was disappointed. I’m not going to put myself in that situation again. I’m not going to go back to that. This served as a reminder to me of what our relationship is supposed to be. It’s a business arrangement, like Miles told me from the start, so I won’t let myself believe it’s going to be anything else.”
“You’re giving up?”
“If he was going to fall for me, it would’ve happened already,” she said firmly. “You know I’m right.”
“I suppose you are,” Heather grudgingly admitted. “But I just can’t believe this has all come to an end so quickly. I really believed you two were going to find a way to work it out and be together in the end, Chelsea. It seemed like you were growing closer by the day.”
“Closer some days,” Chelsea said. “Other days, we got further apart. And I know it was as awkward for him as it was for me. The bottom line is that I can’t ask him to sort out his feelings for me while he’s grieving his father, and I can’t keep putting him through the daily discomfort of being in his house. Maybe we’ll find our way back to one another someday. Obviously, we’re always going to be in each other’s lives. But I can’t count on that happening.” She shook her head. “I just have to move on.”
