He’ll never meet his grandchild. But this company… he knew this company inside and out, and he would want nothing more than to see it succeed. He would be thrilled by this deal. I know it.
He bid Bekken and his associates farewell, went back into the conference room, and began to tidy up the papers that had been left behind on the table. It had been a good day, but he couldn’t focus. All he could think about was his big, empty house and the fact that Chelsea wasn’t in it.
It had been a week since he had come home from the hospital with his father’s personal effects in a box, to find her gone. He wouldn’t soon forget the sense of wrongness he’d felt walkinginto the house, the feeling that something had happened. The emptiness. It was only once Chelsea had left that he had really realized how much difference her presence made to him — how much he valued having her around. The whole atmosphere of his home had changed when she had gone.
Trudy had explained it to him, anxiously wringing her hands as though afraid she would be in trouble. “She said she thought you would want to be on your own. She said you would be able to reach her at her home if you needed her for anything.”
And hehadwanted to be on his own. She was right about that. He could admit it. Grief was hard, and Miles didn’t want to share it. He would have retreated to his study, had she still been here, in hopes of dealing with his feelings on his own. He hadn’t wanted to listen to her talk about his father, about what Silas would have wanted or how he would have felt. A part of him was angry at the thought —she didn’t know him. Not really.
But a part of him was also frustrated, because Chelseadidknow his father. The two of them had grown close. Miles knew that, if he was being honest, he would have to acknowledge that anything she said about what his father would have wanted might have a bit of truth to it. Theywereclose.
And that had been fine when Miles had believed they were going to have a relationship after the baby was born. He’d even embraced it. But now, he didn’t want to share his grief with Chelsea. She had liked his father, but he hadn’t beenhers. She wasn’t as devastated by this loss as Miles was. Miles didn’t know if she would have tried to imply otherwise, but he did know that he would have been angry with her if she had tried it.
She was brought here to give me a baby. Not to integrate herself into the family.
And now that Silas was gone, was there any point in any of it anymore? Hadn’t it all just been for nothing? The same awful thought kept coming up in his mind lately —This was all such a waste. Now we’re stuck with the consequences.
That thought made him sick. He knew it was cruel and wrong, and he didn’t mean it. He hadn’t stopped wanting this baby just because the original reason for conceiving it was no longer a factor, and he knew that he had made a terrible mistake by implying to Chelsea that that was the case. No wonder she had left. It was for the best. She shouldn’t have to be around someone like him. Not if he couldn’t control the things he was saying to her. She deserved better.
So, it was good. It was good that she was gone. She had done the right thing for herself, and it was what was best for him, too.
Still, the thought of going home to that empty house every day filled him with a surprising amount of dread. He hadn’t realized how much he’d grown used to having her around until she was gone.
Today, at least, he wasn’t going to have to go straight home. He would be stopping by his father’s house to work on the ongoing project of cleaning things out, something that had been a terrible chore so far. It was enough to make Miles wish he had siblings. No one should have to face boxing up their parent’s possessions all alone.
I’m the last of us,he thought moodily as he drove over to the house from the office.The last of the Aspins.
Even that thought was terrible. Of course he wasn’t the last of his family. There was the baby. And wasn’t this the reason his father had wanted a grandchild — so that the family wouldn’t die?
He pulled his car into the driveway. It was all too much. He had been doing just fine running the business, making sure his father’s legacy would live on in that way. He had been good at that. Now there were other people involved, though — people who, in spite of himself, Miles cared about. The baby, of course, but also Chelsea…
She’ll never forgive me for the things I said to her on the day she left. And she shouldn’t. I shouldn’t be forgiven for suggesting that I didn’t want our child.
He got out of the car and went into the house. Today’s plan was to tackle his father’s bedroom. Miles had been putting this off, knowing that it would be the most painful room in the house to clear out. All the most personal things would be in the bedroom. But it had to be done eventually, and better to just bite the bullet.
The room itself was dark. It was clear that no one had been in here since his father — the bedding was still a mess, and a sweater was thrown haphazardly over one of the chairs. Miles picked it up and inhaled deeply, taking in the familiar smell of his father. It occurred to him that the smell would fade from these clothes, and his heart ached with the knowledge. He had already lost his father, but he would go on losing little pieces of him for a very long time.
With a sigh, he folded one of the flat boxes he had brought with him into shape and taped the bottom. He went into the closet and began the mercifully distracting work of folding up clothes and putting them away. Most of these things would be donated to charitable organizations, but Miles set a couple of items aside for himself too, as mementos of his father.
He fell into a soothing rhythm, and before he knew it, the whole closet had been packed. He stood for a moment, looking at the bare shelves, then turned and walked out. It was too much.
It was only as he was making his way back out into the main part of the room that he saw it. There, sitting on his father’s nightstand, was his childhood teddy bear.Bear.
Dazed, Miles walked over to the toy and picked it up. It felt familiar and comforting in his arms, and he sat down on the bed and indulged himself for a moment, hugging it the way he had when he was a child.It wasn’t in the boxes Dad sent over to the house, then… but he must have found it. He must have set it aside to give to the baby.
For a moment, he found himself unable to put thoughts of Chelsea and their baby from his mind. He imagined her putting the baby in a crib, settling Bear next to it, smiling down at both of them with joy in her eyes.And I won’t be there to see it…
He wrenched his thoughts away.
There was something else on the nightstand. A letter. He picked it up. It was in a sealed envelope, and on the front was written,To Miles and Chelsea.A shiver ran down his spine — his father had left this note for the pair of them.
He couldn’t keep it from Chelsea, of course. That would be wrong. But he could read it first, before sharing it with her. That seemed more than fair. And he wanted to know what his father had said, what he had deemed necessary to share with both Chelsea and Miles. He wanted to prepare himself for what Chelsea would see when she read this letter.
But he couldn’t bring himself to open it. These were his father’s last words to him. He was acutely aware of that fact. Whateverwas written here was the very last thing his father would ever say to him. He couldn’t just rip it open and read it as if it were nothing more important than a piece of junk mail. He needed to be ready for something as significant as this would surely be.
He folded the letter and tucked it into the pocket of his shirt. This letter had been addressed to both Chelsea and himself, and that meant that whatever it said was bound to be intended for both of them.Aboutboth of them.
He was keenly aware of the ring he had been carrying around since the day his father had given it to him. Surely this wasn’t going to be aboutthat? His father wouldn’t raise the question of marriage with Chelsea directly — not when he knew for sure that Miles was uncertain about it. Would he?
