Chapter 16
Zaira
I’m sitting in my old room waiting for the guys to return. I can’t sleep. There’s too much on my mind. I’m worried for Hawk. He didn’t look good, and I’m so afraid he’s not going to make it. I’ve been praying for him.
I was surprised to find some of my things hanging in the closet and even some underwear in the drawer, along with a nightie. I thought Darius had gotten all my things when I moved out, but obviously he didn’t. I’m glad. At least I have a change of clothes. I need a shower, but I’m too nervous to do anything but pace and think.
I’ve been practicing what I am going to say to Michael. Tonight has been a real eye-opener for me. It made me realize life is short. We may never know what will happen from one day to the next. Despite everything Michael has done, despite all the lies and deceit, one thing is first and foremost in my mind. I love him. I have always loved him, and I know now that I always will. I just hope I have not driven such a wedge between us that it’s too late.
Dina brought me some soup and hot tea. I didn’t touch the soup, but I did drink the tea. My stomach is in knots, and I can’t eat, not even soup. I’ve been pacing in my room waiting for Michael to return, waiting on word about Hawk… simply waiting. It’s been several hours and no word. I’m about to lose my mind.
A soft knock on my door jolts me from my thoughts. “Come in,” I say.
To my surprise, it’s Michael who steps into the room. “Hey, I saw your light on and wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I haven’t been able to sleep. How’s Hawk?”
“He’s in critical condition right now. Dr. Siegel says the next forty-eight hours are crucial to his recovery.”
I deflate at the news because I feel responsible. “I’m so sorry, Michael. If I hadn’t trusted Darius, if I hadn’t pulled away, if I had just stayed with you, none of this would have happened.”
“First of all, ‘ifs’ get us nowhere. We can spend a lifetime saying ‘what if.’ It will never change anything. The important thing is how we deal with the here and now. You are not to blame. I truly believe that even if Gallardi didn’t have an in with Darius, they would have gotten to you one way or another. At least Darius’s involvement may have kept you from getting killed.”
“Michael, I—”
“Get some rest, Zaira. We’ll talk in the morning.” He turns to leave. When he gets to the door, he hesitates and without turning around, he says, “It’s been a long day, and I am more than relieved you are safe. Let’s leave it at that for now.” He opens the door and leaves, closing the door behind him.
But, Michael, I wanted to tell you I love you.Obviously he isn’t ready to hear it tonight. I guess he’s right, I need to get some rest. Tomorrow is gonna be another long day, and worrying about the outcome of our conversation isn’t going to help any.
I get myself into bed and will myself to sleep, lying here for what seems like an eternity.
***
I wake the next morning a little disoriented, but then I realize I am back in my old room at the Vitali mansion. I stay under the covers for several minutes, finally feeling at peace because I am back where I belong. Well, not technically where I belong. I should be in Michael’s room and in Michael’s bed, but hey, it’s a start. I am hoping our talk today will change things for us.
I get up and head toward the closet to find something to wear today. After picking out a white button-down blouse and a pair of jeans, I proceed to the shower.
Once I am showered and dressed, I run my fingers through my wet hair. I don’t have a blow-dryer or any makeup here, so I make do with what I got. Before all is said and done, I’m gonna have wild and crazy curls. I chuckle to myself. Michael has never seen the wild curls. Oh boy, he’s in for a real treat. Not.
I make my way downstairs and I walk toward Michael’s office. I’m dying to see him and talk, but Jude stops me just outside his door.
“Sorry, Zaira, he’s in a meeting right now. Can’t be disturbed,” he says.Why is Jude inside?I wonder. He is always the gatekeeper. I shake my head. I’m sure Michael has his reasons, and they are not mine to question.
“Oh, I see. Is Ricco around?” I ask.
“He’s in the meeting as well. When they are done, I’ll let Michael know you want to see him.”
“Thanks, Jude,” I reply and turn away.
I’m so disappointed. I was really looking forward to seeing him, but I know he is busy and has many things to attend to, especially after all that has happened in the last few days. Walking out to the back patio, I am amazed by all the construction workers and landscapers working. The area has been destroyed, but how? I make a note to ask Michael about it when we talk.
I go back inside and run into Dina carrying a tray. “Miss Zaira, I was just bringing you some breakfast.”
“Oh, Dina, how thoughtful. But you don’t need to bring it to my room. I can eat in the dining room if that is okay.”
“Of course it is. Michael thought you might be more comfortable in your room, but you are more than welcome to eat in the dining room.”
“Thank you, Dina. That would be wonderful.” I’m still not hungry, but I don’t want to be rude after Dina has gone to some much effort to ensure I get breakfast. I follow her into the dining room.
“Mrs. Vitali and Gina have gone to the hospital. I believe Alex is in a meeting with Michael. Would you like me to remain and keep you company?” she asks.
“I’m sure you have better things to do than babysit me. Thanks anyway, Dina.”
“Well, if that will be all then, ma’am.”
“Yes, thank you.” After Dina leaves, I take a few bites of the omelet and toast and realize I can’t eat any more. I sit there for several minutes, taking in all that has happened in the last forty-eight hours. I can’t help but feel responsible for all this. If I just hadn’t trusted the wrong guy. Really, to my defense, he never gave me any reason not to trust him before all this. Hell, we all trusted him. I get up from the table and return to my room.
By the time I’m back in my room, my thoughts have me deciding I really need to talk to Michael. I know he has a million things on his mind, and he’s dealing with some serious stuff, but our relationship has to be a priority too. I make a pact with myself that I will not go back home until we talk.
