“Look at me. I want to see how you feel, how turned on you are, and when you reach the point where you can’t take it anymore. I want to see you gag on me as you try to take me all the way.” His thumb brushes against my cheek in a sweet gesture that doesn’t reflect his words, but the dichotomy makes my clit pulse.
My eyes hold his gaze as his hand threads through my hair and he guides himself further into my mouth. He pauses, wordlessly checking to see if I’m okay, and I give him the slightest nod. It flips a switch for him as he pulls back before thrusting further in, hard and setting a punishing pace. I can only kneel here and take what he gives me, and somehow, it’s one of the hottest things I’ve ever done.
“That’s it, you’re doing so good, Emmerdeur,” he praises. The words make me moan around him as my hands move to my breasts once again. He pushes to the back of my throat, just to my gag reflex, but he goes too fast, triggering the response. Drool pools in my mouth, and I can feel it trailing down my chin as I try to breathe through my nose.
“God, you look gorgeous like this. I wish I wasn’t so fucking close already so I could push you to your limit and watch you swallow all my cum.” He groans as he pulls out. I suck in a deep breath, trying to regulate my breathing as he steps forward and gives me a soft nudge, causing me to fall onto the mattress. He follows me down, his hands touching every inch of skin he can as he shoves my legs apart. His movements stop as he leans back, and I open my eyes, not even realizing I closed them.
“I can’t believe you’re mine,” he whispers, his eyes touching every inch of skin. When they meet mine again, he looks so vulnerable. “You are mine, right, Emmerdeur?”
“Only yours, Arlo,” I murmur.
He settles between my legs, draping his body over mine as he cups my face. “There’s never any pressure with me, okay? I would wait forever for you to be mine, and I will continue to wait until you are sure this is what you want. Because I’m all in.” He hesitates for a moment, emotions vivid in his eyes. “I’m in love with you. I’ve always been in love with you, and Iwill always be in love with you.” He presses a soft kiss to my lips as I feel wetness trail down my temples.
I want so badly to reciprocate, and I feel like I’m so damn close, but the fear still stops me. I’d hate myself for it, but telling him I love him before I’m ready wouldn’t be right either.
“I mean it, Rina, no pressure. I can see it written all over your face, but I don’t say that to push you. I say that because I physically can’t hold it in anymore.” He kisses the tears away, and I can only hold on to his shoulders like a lifeline. He effortlessly notches himself at my entrance before pressing forward in a smooth, steady thrust.
“You are my everything, Emmerdeur,” he whispers in my ear before pulling out and slowly pressing back in.
I feeleverything. Every emotion I try to run from, every fear I want to ignore, and every inch of him sliding inside of me, giving me pleasure only he can. And for once, I stop thinking. I stop every what-if in my head, and I justfeel.
His languid thrusts somehow feel better than our usual intense hook-ups, and I know it’s because this means something. We mean something, and for the first time since I was handed divorce papers, I want to fight for us. Because I know deep down, it was always supposed to be Arlo.
“Oh god,” I moan at both the bliss and the realization.
“Why do you always feel so damn good?” he grunts, and I can tell he’s just as lost in the emotion of everything as I am.
“It’s because my pussy is perfect, obviously,” I throw out as levity, a way to lighten the intensity I’m not sure I can handle more of.
He pulls back from my back abruptly with a grin. “You would be a hundred percent right about that, Marina.”
I smirk at his nickname use, and I know no matter how serious things get, we’re still us underneath it all. We can joke and be smartasses in the middle of overwhelming emotions, and it somehow doesn’t deter from anything. It makes it feel more real.
His thrusts leisurely keep pace. For how long, I’m not sure. All I know is a million years could have passed and it still wouldn’t be enough time. This moment is a moment I’ll remember for as long as I live, no matter what happens between us.
His hand reaches in between us and circles my clit a couple of times as I throw my head back with a whimper.
“That’s right, come for me.” His gentle yet demanding tone seals my fate.
The force of my orgasm is so strong it catches me off guard, and it sends Arlo over the edge with me. The sound of his moan is so damn sexy, I swear it sets off another orgasm.
We collapse in a heap on the mattress on the floor as we catch our breath. My blissfully blank brain snags on everything he’s said, and my heart pounds in my chest. Doubts persist, and I wonder if things were said in the heat of the moment. It’s like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I hate that my head goes to that. I don’t know how to just shut it off, move on, and stop re-running every single doubt I have.
“Hey, you okay?” his soft voice breaches my slight panic.
“Did you mean it?” I whisper.
He lifts his head so he can look at me. “Every word, Emmerdeur. And I will tell you every single day until you believe it. Until I show you how much I mean it.”
The earnestness in his voice almost breaks me. He doesn’t realize he already does. He doesn’t realize how close I am to reciprocating, and forwhatever reason, that bit of control makes the panic recede. He told me no pressure, and I have to take him at his word. No decisions need to be made right this second.
But I know it’s only a matter of time before he owns my heart completely again.
Chapter 35
Arlo
Waking up with Rina in my arms is everything.
