But what?
Me:
You tell no one what I’m about to say…
Lenny:
*rolls eyes* Who the fuck do I talk to anymore?
Well, now I just feel selfish. But I’m about to tell him more than what the rest of the family knows, and I just need to cover my bases.
Me:
Arlo and I were a thing back in the day before Mom and Dad died. And it ended … badly. I’ve never really wanted anyone else, but now that things are kind of coming full circle, it scares me that he’s going to crush my heart again, and I don’t think I can survive it again. And then there’s this asshole who keeps texting me and sending me shit. My nerves are frayed, and you always shoot straight and I need that blunt honesty right now, even if it means I’m selfish as hell. I am sorry about that; I promise I’ll bring you a steak from the bistro we went to tonight to make up for it.
Lenny:
That’s a lot to unpack… Give me a second to write it all out.
Lenny:
I won’t pretend to know what happened between you two, but I do know that you’ve never dated, never shown an interest in anyone since Mom and Dad died. That’s not a way to live. If Arlo is showing up now, and his actions—not his words—show you he’s serious, then it’s worth risking a broken heart for. I may be basically a recluse now, but when I do see you, you’re happier than I’ve ever seen you. If shit with Tennison taught me anything, it’s that life doesn’t give you time. It doesn’t care if you’re scared or second-guessing things. It can all disappear at the drop of a hat. Keeping Arlo at arm’s length will only hurt you both more in the long run. It’s okay to be cautious, but don’t let good things slip through your fingers if they make you happy.
Lenny:
And what the fuck is this about a guy that’s basically stalking you? Does Ledger know?
I cringe at his second message. I didn’t think that one through, and with Arlo up my ass and basically babysitting me, the last thing I want is either brother to join in the fun. His other advice, however, calms my thoughts and sends clarity crashing through all my confusion. It also doesn’t lessen my sisterly guilt that he’s struggling more than any of us really know.
Me:
Big bro doesn’t know the new developments, and I’d like to keep it that way. Arlo is always overprotective enough for everyone. And you make some good points there, little brother. Thank you for talking me off a ledge and somehow making things clearer than they have been in years. It must be some kind of superpower you have.
Lenny:
No superpowers here, unfortunately. I’m glad it helped, though. You and Arlo are pretty good together, I guess.
I laugh at what I assume is a sullen tone and quickly quiet down, so I don’t wake up Arlo.
Me:
If you need anything, please, please call me, text me, send a letter, whatever. I know things are hard and it will take time, but we’re all here for you with whatever you need.
Lenny:
I know. I’m just not there yet, I think. You’ll be there first I bug when I’m ready, though, because this was dangerously close to girl talk.
Laughter bursts out of me, and I slap my hand over my mouth.
“What is going on over there?” Arlo’s groggy voice sounds out in the quiet room, loud enough for me to hear him.
“Sorry,” I whisper. “Go back to bed,” I say as I walk out of the bathroom and put my phone back on the nightstand as I get back into bed and snuggle against Arlo’s side, feeling more hopeful for the future than I have in fifteen years.
Chapter 32
Arlo
I’ve been up for an hour, my mind running a million miles a minute as I watch Rina sleep. Her little snores are so endearing it makes me fall in love with her more by the second. Not that I’d ever tell her about the snoring. I’d like to not get punched this morning.
