“I can make that happen.” He smiles.
Planning for the future. Who knew that was something I would actually look forward to, and with Arlo of all people? But I feel like me, not the me I had to be when my parents died but the me I always wanted to be. As much as Arlo has made changes for himself, I hope he can see I’mtrying to do the same. I’m trying to step out of my comfort zone to really jump in with both feet, even if it scares the shit out of me.
“I’d like that very much. What do you say we grab the check and head out of here? Maybe go back to my house.” I don’t even try to be seductive, but my meaning is clear as day.
“I’d say that sounds like the best idea yet.” He flags down our waiter for the check, and within ten minutes we’re back in his truck, heading back home.
Arlo’s asleep next to me after our very vigorous activities tonight. I should be fast asleep too, but my brain won’t be quiet.
I keep thinking about how weird Tyler was at dinner. About how the last few months have garnered more change than I think I was ready for. About this damn stalker. And oddly enough, I’m thinking about Lennox and how he’s coping when all we see is the face he puts on around us all. It makes me realize I’m not as well-adjusted as I want to be when it comes to what happened to him or what is currently happening to me.
I reach over to my nightstand and grab my phone, opening up a text thread and sliding out of bed to head to the bathroom.
Me:
Are you awake?
Lenny:
I am. Why are you?
Me:
Couldn’t sleep. My brain is thinking about … everything.
Lenny:
Well, that’s always a shitty option.
Me:
How are you doing? I mean, like how are you just moving on and living?
Lenny:
I’m … not really? I know you guys all see that I’m not 100% there at family dinners, but I appreciate you all for not bringing attention to it. It’s strange because I know logically what happened to me, but it’s like I have a mental block where I don’t think about what specifically happened. Does that make sense?
Me:
It does. But that doesn’t really help me right now, ha ha.
Lenny:
What’s going on?
Lenny:
I’m not trying to throw my shit at you because we need to move forward as a family, and I’ll be okay eventually. I knowthat.
I sniffle as his last texts comes in because I feel like I’ve failed him. He’s going through so much, and none of us knows how to help him. We may be hindering him more than anything, and that breaks my heart. But I also texted him for a reason. He’s always been pretty point blank with any advice, and I need that now more than ever, even if it makes me feel like a shitty sister.
Me:
Things with Arlo are progressing, and it’s scary. It’s good. I know that, but…
I realize he wasn’t at family dinner when I filled in a lot of the blanks, and I hesitate.
Lenny:
