The worst part of all of this is that I can’t just pretend he doesn’t exist again. I can’t shove him back into that tiny little box of hatred because I know he’s not going to leave me alone with this stalker situation. And I maybe started tolikebeing around him again, and I don’t know how to shut that off now that the spout is open.
What a mess.
Rolling over in bed, I punch the pillow a couple of times, trying to get my aggression out or get comfortable. Who knows at this point. But all it serves to do is remind me I can’t bury myself in work today. Arlo told me he would let me know when he was done investigating, and as much as I want to ignore him just to be defiant, I know it’s not the best course of action.
I figure I have two, maybe three options to kill time before family dinner. I could just head over to Ledger and Ainsley’s early and spend the day there, but their overly lovey ways might make me lose my mind. I could lie here and wallow in my too many thoughts and nurse my migraine, which honestly sounds horrible. Or I could go hike through the park. Sam Houston National Park has acres of paths to get lost in and fresh air that might just allow me to figure out how to move forward with Arlo.
The fresh air felt refreshing.
But it didn’t help my tumultuous thoughts at all. My hopes of clearing my head before family dinner were dashed as fast as they came, and now I’m on my way to Ledger’s house, hoping I can keep my emotions under wraps.
“Rinaaaaaaaa,” Ainsley drawls from a rocking chair on the porch as I climb out of my truck.
“Ainsleyyyyyy,” I mimic.
“Ledger is forcing me not to work, even though we have a huge project coming up, and I’m bored. You should have come over earlier,” she whines.
“You could have texted me if it was that dire,” I titter as I sit in the rocker next to her.
“I got Ledger to keep me company.” She winks, and I can’t hold back the gag.
“Please don’t… We had a deal—no sex talk about my brother.” I groan.
Her giggle sounds out around me, and I have to laugh with her.
We talk about how our weeks have been, and before we know it, Willow and Oakley are pulling up, signaling the start of family dinner.
“How’d Lenny look?” I ask Oakley as we follow Ainsley inside.
“Tired but good, honestly. He got a little sun on his face, and it seemed really good for him. He’s just annoyed he’s so out ofshape.”
“Yeah, slowing down is his nightmare, so I’m sure he’s grumpy as shit.”
“Don’t let him hear you say that.” He chuckles.
“Whose favorite are you making?” Willow asks Ledger once we’re all in the kitchen.
“Burgers,” he yells over his shoulder as he takes a plate out to the back patio to the grill.
Yes, my favorite.I almost fist bump but choose to play it cool. After the last couple of days, something as simple as this is bumping my spirits exponentially.
It takes no time to cook dinner while we’re all talking about nothing of consequence. Ledger and Oakley keep giving me looks like they are checking to make sure I’m okay, and it’s skyrocketing my blood pressure. I’ve been able to push my thoughts on the stalker to the side a little, thanks to Arlo’s bombshell confession, and now their concerned looks are bringing it to the forefront of my mind.
Dinner starts off well enough. We go around saying what our favorite thing about the week was, but when it’s my turn, it all goes downhill.
“My favorite thing this week is…” I think and try to come up with something, but my brain is blank. All I can think about is everything that went wrong. “My favorite thing is…” I try again, but the pressure behind my eyes is signaling that I’m two seconds away from another breakdown.
“Oh shit,” I distantly hear Ainsley say, and before I realize what’s happening, she and Willow are wrapped around me as I cry over my burger.
“I’m ruining family dinner!” I wail because, somehow, it feels like just another blow.
“You are not. You’ve had a lot happen this week, and it’s completely acceptable to still be feeling all of that,” Willow says.
I take a couple of deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself down, and everyone takes it as a hint to finish dinner. I barely hear the rest of the conversation as we finish dinner, but once the plates are cleared and everyone has a drink in hand, all attention turns back to me.
“So… You and Arlo?” Ledger asks in a tone I can quite decipher.
Sighing, I put my drink down, knowing this is a conversation that needs to happen but one I’m not ready for.
