My brain is coming up with every worst-case scenario for both of them, and none of it equals them surviving. I mean, a stab wound to the stomach has a lot of potential for things to go wrong. And Lennox? God, I don’t even know where to begin. I have no idea what shape he was in when Arlo brought him in because Arlo needed to rally with the Fugitive Task Force in a conference room in the hospital. I want to be mad at him, but I can’t because it’s his job.
You know whose job it wasn’t? James fucking Oakley’s.
And now he’s in surgery.
I’m not angry at James either. I’m just exhausted and so fucking stressed. I don’t know how to work through all these emotions right now.
A hand touches my shoulder and I flinch, looking up to see Ledger looking at me with concern in his eyes.
“The doctor wants to talk to us,” he says softly. I look around to see the rest of the family standing, waiting for me.
I didn’t even hear them call us. Blinking back the tears threatening to fall, I stand up to follow the doctor.
The paramedics that took care of Oakley on the way in talked to me about the effects of being in shock. I can recognize the truth in their words with how I’m feeling right now. The chill has taken control of my body, and the shivering won’t stop. I’m wrapped in blankets, but it doesn’t matter.
We sit in a bland conference room, one I assume the hospital uses for bad news, and it only makes the tears actually fall.
God, I’m a mess.
“So, an update on Lennox. He’s doing as well as can be expected. The main concern was getting more blood into him as he lost a lot during … the incident. Currently, he is in the ICU as a precaution, due to how susceptible he is to infection right now. I’m optimistic that he’ll be out by tomorrow and into regular hospital care, but we’ll keep you updated. Law enforcement is talking to him at the moment, but when they leave, you’ll be able to go visit him one at a time. Physically, he’ll recover fine. Mentally, I want to prepare you for a hard road. I don’t know many details, but I do know you’ll all need to be extremely patient with him.He could act completely fine but be drowning on the inside. He could show every emotion in the book and take it out on you. I just want to prepare you for a long mental battle for him.”
I cover my mouth as a sob breaks free. Ainsley is sitting next to me and pulls me into a hug as the others watch me break down. The doctor, God bless him, just patiently waits while I calm my shit down. It’s like I have no control over anything. My emotions, my body … all of it is working independently of my brain. And all my brain can think is that none of this should have happened. Logically, I know it’s a fucked-up way to think, but the what-ifs are adding up and are on a constant loop in my thoughts.
“I don’t anticipate Lennox being here for longer than a week. A good majority of the cuts were superficial and will heal in that time, and the deeper ones will have healed enough to let him go home. As long as there is no infection, it should be a relatively fast process.”
Ledger nods, continuing to listen. His need to take control shows, and I’m glad someone is able to fully listen.
“As far as James Oakley is concerned...” He pauses. “I’m not really supposed to be telling anything to anyone not family, but he said that Willow is his fiancé, and to talk to you and the family about anything happening.”
My heart damn near rips from my chest.
Pain.
I feel so much pain at hearing him calling me James’s fiancé because I have no idea if he’s even going to make it. And the thought of losing him when I just got him is too much, it’s too overwhelming.
“Is he out ofsurgery?” Rina asks.
“He is, and it was touch and go there for a little bit. The blade nicked his liver and some bigger blood vessels, so there was a lot of bleeding. We ended up needing to take a lobe of his liver before closing him up because it was too damaged. It’s still perfectly functional; this just decreases the risk after surgery. So, his risk of infection, sepsis, or even an abscess is drastically lower now. We had to give him some blood as well, but he should be fine once the anesthesia wears off.”
“And how long will he have to stay here?” Ainsley asks while still holding me to her side.
“We want to make sure the sutures are good and there’s no sign of infection. I’d like to keep him at least a couple more days, but I get the feeling he may fight us on that.” He smiles warmly.
Stubborn ass. I’ll make him fucking stay here.
The thought almost makes me laugh, but I’m just too terrified. Just because they both made it out of surgery doesn’t mean either are out of the woods yet. My pessimistic brain is throwing out every terrible thing I’ve researched for books as an outcome, and now I want to figure out how to actually shut my brain off. I don’t think I can handle my thoughts for much longer.
“I can take one of you up to Lennox right now, and James should be awake shortly. A nurse will come and get you when he is.”
The whole group looks at me, and I nod. I might be a mess, but Lennox is my best friend and I need to see the damage. I need to see that killing Tennison was worth it.
I stand up shakily as the doctor ushers me out of the room and to the elevator.
“Are you sure you’re okay? We can have a nurse check you out when we get up there.”
“I-I-I think it’s just shock,” I chatter and hiccup through the tears that won’t stop falling. “I’m not ph-ph-physically hurt.”
He looks at me with concern but nods anyway. I have a feeling he’s not just going to let that go, but I don’t care about that right now.
