What a fucking mess.
A knock at the door scares the hell out of me.
“Ledger?” Her soft, hesitant question barely permeates through the door.
“What, Ains?” I can hear the defeat in my tone, and I hate every second of it. I’m supposed to be stronger than this, be able to be the bigger person here. But all I can think about is her not wanting me. The crushing weight on my chest tells me I’m a lot more gone for her than I thought I was, and it sure as hell feels one-sided right now.
“Can we talk … about what just happened?”
“Not right now. I think I just need a few minutes.”
“Oh, okay.” I can hear the sadness in her voice, and damn it if it doesn’t make me want to open the door and comfort her. But I know if I do, I won’t be able to respect her boundaries, and I refuse to be that kind of man.
“Just five minutes, Ains,” I say, hoping she grants me this.
I had an entire plan for this trip. Woo her, show her how things can be, howIcan be. And within the first five minutes, I’ve fucked it up by kissing her when she didn’t want it. A conversation is probably in order, but I need a much clearer head to do that.
Silence greets my request, and I breathe a sigh of relief that she’s giving me this time.
Maybe a cold shower will do me some good.
Not thinking about the fact that Ainsley is still on the other side of the door, I strip and turn on the shower as cold as I can stand it.
Water cascades down my back, and my nervous system finally calms down enough to think about this entire situation logically.
My original plan was to take her out to dinner, and I think sticking to that is the best approach. We need to have an actual conversation about what is happening between us, so we’re on the same page and there is no confusion about what I want. Whether she’s on the same page as me is anyone’s guess, but I know I need to lay my cards on the table. This isn’twhat I was expecting to do right away, but my impulsive kiss is forcing my hand.
My thoughts of slowly leading her into the idea of us being together and dating have officially been placed on the back burner. Clearing the air is the priority.
Finally, feeling like I’m on more steady footing, I shut off the water and grab a towel.
Hell, even the towels are ridiculously soft here.
After scrubbing the towel over my head to dry my hair, I wrap it around my waist and head out into the room.
Ainsley is sitting on the bed, twisting her hands together, when she hears the door open and then abruptly stands up.
Her eyes are comically wide as they trail down my body. I couldn’t hide the smirk on my face for a million dollars as I watch her take me in. We may be in limbo at the moment, but her reactions don’t hide her attraction to me.
Clearing my throat, her eyes snap up to mine.
“I was thinking we could go to dinner.” I specifically don’t address anything that happened before my shower because I think we both need to be on an even footing—and me, with only a towel around my waist, isn’t it.
“Umm, dinner. Yeah, that sounds great.”
“I’m just going to grab some clothes.” I walk right up to her before reaching around and snagging my bag off the bed.
I am feeling much better now. My confidence is mostly restored, and hopefully after an actual conversation about us over dinner, I’ll feel better overall.
She sucks in a breath as I lean around her, and that confidence boost grows exponentially.
“Do you want to change in the bathroom or in the bedroom?” I ask quietly, close to her ear.
“Umm, bathroom. Bathroom’s fine.”
She frantically digs into her suitcase, grabbing some clothes, and sprints to the bathroom. I barely hold in my chuckle as I drop my bag back onto the bed. She’s definitely not unaffected, even if she did push me away. No more jumping to conclusions, though. She needs to know exactly where my head is at.
I grab a pair of black slacks and a black button-down, and throw them on. I’m in the process of rolling up my sleeves when Ainsley emerges from the bathroom. Rolling the last bit of my sleeve, I glance up at her and freeze.
