She may not have an issue with our sleeping arrangements, it seems, but if my first thought is of the position I want to put her in first, I’m going to struggle heavily over the next couple of days.
She walks to the opposite end of the room and looks into the bathroom.
“Holy shit, you have to see this!”
I quickly walk up behind her and lean in to see past the door frame.
The bathroom is exactly what I would expect from the level of luxury in this room. A free-standing soaker tub and a steam shower, covered in what I assume is marble, take up most of the space.
Ainsley soaking in the tub with me on my knees beside her, trailing my touch over every single inch of her wet, naked body.
Jesus, I’m never going to survive this trip. I tip my head back, taking a deep breath in an attempt to get my bearings.
She spins around, only inches from my body, with her eyes lit up like the brightest star.
“This is fucking incredible. I didn’t even know they made hotel rooms like this!” She walks out of the bathroom, looking at the entire space.
I’m so distracted by the sheer happiness radiating from her that I don’t register her words.
“Ledger? You okay?” Her furrowed brow makes me want to do anything to bring back her smile.
I can’t take my eyes off of how fucking gorgeous she looks right now: no make-up, hair on top of her head, and wearing leggings and an oversized T-shirt. And she looks so fucking happy, I can’t even think past impulse.
Cupping her jaw with my hand, I descend on her lips. The soft press nearly undoes me.
I’m kissing Ainsley Mathews!
I can feel her shock for a split second before she melts into me and grips my wrist as she leans into me more. Her lips part, and I instantly take advantage, sweeping my tongue against hers. I get so lost in the intimacy, it takes me a second to realize she’s pulled back and is pressing her hand gently against my chest.
“We shouldn’t be doing that…” she whispers.
I feel like I’ve just gotten smacked by her words.
Taking a huge step back, I feel like an enormous piece of shit because she didn’t want that. I got lost in the moment and acted on impulse.
“I’m so sorry—”
“No! No, not like that. I just mean you’re my boss, and this is a work trip…” She trails off like I’m supposed to understand her logic.
I don’t. At all.
Fuck work. Fuck the conference. If that’s what is standing in the way of us kissing again, fuck it all.
But her pushing me away right now, sending this obvious message, fuckinghurts.It’s irrational, I know that, but my head and my heart are going haywire, and I can’t get myself to think logically right now.
“I … I can’t do this,” I barely get out before I step into the bathroom and lock the door.
Leaning against the door, I lightly tap my head on it.
God damnit, I finally got a taste, and she pulled back because I fucked up too much to overcome.
My heart is beating too fast in my chest—whether it’s from the kiss or being supremely disappointed in her reasons for pulling back, who’s to say.
All I know is I need space. I need to take the time to calm down and try to see this from her view because, right now, I don’t get it. I don’t understand how you can kiss someone like that andstillwalk away.
Ainsley is the one that never was in high school, sure, butthisAinsley that I’ve gotten to know over the past few months? I don’t think I can handle more excuses of why we shouldn’t be right now, when all I see is just how fucking right we could be. If she needs more time for me to show her I won’t ever lie to her again, fine. But there’s no way she didn’t feel the connection in that kiss.
Maybe I should see if they have another room. It’s going to be actual torture to share a room with her if she wants to keep the distance. I respect her and her decisions about us, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to willingly agree and give up. My feelings aren’t magically going to disappear.
