All the angles, every consideration, swirl and press on me until I reach my laneway, dark in the meagre moonlight. I take a moment to breathe in the sweeter air of the hilltop, to look over the flickering lights of Victora below. And, like I always do, I force the troubles from my mind.
Robin’s not far behind me. Soon, he’ll make me forget all of it. He’ll kiss me, he’ll lie to me and talk of our future together on Atrea. And I’ll believe him. All the night through, I’ll believe every word he says. And I’ll save all the pain for the day we part. Whether that’s when I lock him in his cell for the last time before I walk out of this place, or when I smash the life out of him with one hard blow from the Deathball.
Either way, we have one month left together. At most.
The familiar sound of white gravel crunching beneath my sandals fills the air, and I wonder if I’ll miss it someday. If any part of me will hold some fondness for any of this. If I’ll look back on these stolen nights with Robin in kind, or if I’ll wish I could forget it all.
As I make the final turn toward my door, I send the guards back for Robin. They know the routine by now. And all the original scandal of it has slipped to boredom. They must be sick to death of walking that route, wishing almost as badly as I do that Robin could just leave with me.
But they take their money and their unspoken complaints, and they leave me so I can slip inside my villa to wait.
But before I can get the key in the lock, a louder crunch of gravel behind me, then the sharp glint of armor catching the light.
New guards approaching my door. And behind them, the deep breaths of four men carrying a heavy sedan chair.
I lock eyes with one of the guards, and his eyebrows rise, almost as if he can read my thoughts. As if he’s saying, ‘You can’t get away now. I’ve seen you. It’s too late.’
Stopping, I suck in a deep breath to try to calm my nerves—to try to think of an excuse.
I know there isn’t one. Because some part of me knew this was coming. That it was all too perfect, those peaceful, beautiful nights.
A silk slipper steps out onto the ground, a ruffle of white follows, billowing in the evening breeze. “Marco! Going somewhere?”
My brain scrambles for an answer. “Out. I was going… out.”
“Ah. Just as well I caught you, then.” He claps, and the whole party disappears into the shadows, all except those head guards who take their place either side of my door.
The Emperor approaches, and I stand there, right in front of him, blocking his way. I have no idea what I’m doing, what I’m thinking. “I was just going to… to…”
“Well, now you’re not,” he cuts me off sharply.
So I open the door.
What am I supposed to do? Robin’s coming. Robin will be on his way here any minute now, and I don’t know what’s worse. If he finds me with him? If the Emperor sees Robin? Can I make an excuse as to why I’ve brought him here?
“Maria?” I call as I step in, closing the door behind me. But not a peep comes back. Maybe she’s gone to bed. More likely, she’s heard us and taken Esme somewhere she won’t find out what’s happening.
That the man her brother’s fallen for does… this.
“My lord,” I begin, trying my hardest to sound at ease, to smile and smile and always smile. “I didn’t expect you, or I would have prepared.”
“Marco…” His breath streaks across my neck as he turns, slides his hand over my hip, and pushes me back against the wall. Every nerve in my body is on alert, like this is an attack. Like it’s battle. And it’s not. It stopped being that five years ago. It’s just what happens. It’s what I do. It’s the bit where I close my eyes and let go.
But my hands won’t work the way they’re supposed to. It feels like touching a diseased thing—like I’ll be contaminated too.
“You and me, we don’t need to stand on ceremony,” he says, and my pulse is pounding so fast his words are just noise. Noise with so little meaning.
Because suddenly I know what’s worse. Robin seeing this. Robin finding me like this. The look on Robin’s face.
Not even the betrayal. I think he would understand. But the pity. The memory of this. This moment that would tarnish everything. That if we ever make it out, would haunt us—haunt me—because I’d see it in his eyes whether it was there or not.
Another man’s hands on me.
Me, compliant, whether I wanted it or not.
A ghost inside my skin and my heart, when it was just born fresh. When loving Robin made me new. When I’ve realized, I’m his.His. His and his alone, for now and forever.
My head turns fast, his wet lips landing on my cheek. I can’t even hide the shudder. And in the instant, he’s furious. His eyes turn black, demonic, a dark vengeance written in them as he pulls back.
