“You and me both, Kiddo.”
I unlinked my hands from him and stepped back, the word Kiddo disturbing me more than usual. My face must have shown my irritation because Mike turned to me with concern in his eyes.
“What?” he asked.
“Is that the way you’re gonna see me forever? A kid?”
He chuckled. “It’s just a word, Carolina.”
“Is it?”
His humor was gone when his gaze, suddenly, bore into me. “It’s more of a reminder.” Then he turned away and headed for the staircase. “Weed stash is up there.”
I nodded, confused as fuck. “I’ll get the booze.”
“Bene,” he said, his feet eating up the stairs.
Awful flashes of tonight accompanied me to the kitchen. The look on Kyle’s face when I refused him. How he tried to hold his tears. How he held my hand for the last time before I ran inside. They would haunt me for the rest of my life. Blubbering, I opened and slammed more cabinets than necessary for finding a couple of glasses.
Scene33
Mike
Lying on the floor, jacket and shoes off, Mike exhaled the last of his joint. Maggie’s head rested on the couch behind her, her feet stretched on the floor.
She let out a shuddering groan. “I’m a terrible…terrible person.”
“No, you’re not,” he said.
“Yes, I am.” Her voice cracked. “But I swear to God, I tried. I did everything to make it work.”
“I know you don’t wanna hear this, but it was never going to work. He wasn’t right for you.”
“I should’ve broken up with him earlier, though. Before all this.”
“Why didn’t you?”
She shook her head, like she was disagreeing with what she wanted to say.
“Talk to me, Carolina.”
“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m terrified of making decisions unless the situation is irreversible and…I’m also terrified of being alone. I’d rather have the illusion that I could still make it work or wait for him to break up with me than to do it myself. I know it’s awful. I’m awful.”
“You’re not awful. Stop saying that about yourself. All this is…”Courtesy of Andrea.Mike’s heart burned, scorching from the inside out, as he pondered how that awful woman had managed to spread her toxicity onto Maggie like that.
A trail of blue smoke came out of her lips. “You know even after I said no, he asked me if there was any chance I was gonna say yes later. He said he could wait till I was ready.” A tear dropped onto the back of her hand.
“Are you ever gonna be ready for this? With anyone?”
Her eyes rolled up to him. “I can’t believe you right now. You think this was a Maggie Moment?”
“A Maggie Moment?”
“That fuckin’ moment when I realizethiswas never what I wanted to do. When I’m afraid to commit. When I falter and hesitate and turn my life upside down, then disappoint everybody I know.”
He scratched his forehead. “Uh…it wasn’t?”
“Fuck no.” She scrambled to her feet. “You know what? I’m going for a walk.” Stumbling on her boots on the way, she grumbled.
