Easton makes no effort to contribute, just stares at me like I stole something of his and he wants it back. I wait, and just as his mouth opens to speak, Betty announces our drinks’ arrival.
“A coffee for you, sir, and an OJ for the lady.”
The moment is over. Buried for another day. Easton has no plans to continue, just stares at the grocery bags we carried in here, and picks right back up with the conversation we abandoned before we sat down.
“About the butter. It makes everything better. Simple as that.”
No, not that simple, Ranger. Things are not that simple at all.
11
COLLIE
“You cool if I take this?”
I smile softly. “Go for it.”
Easton nods, stepping away for a moment to take what seems to be an important phone call. Although I appear to be hanging back, pretending to give him some space, you can bet your bottom dollar I’m staying in earshot enough to snoop.
The way his face instantly dropped at the sharp ringing of his phone makes me think it has something to do with the distress and pain I’ve sensed seeping from him since we met.
Maybe it’s my way of justifying my nosiness, but I think I deserve to know a little more about the stranger I’m crashing with for the next two weeks, right?
“Palmer.” His voice is deep and firm, while his body language portrays the opposite. The name comes out as a statement, not a question. It’s as if his tall frame folds into itself, something I’ve noticed to be very much opposite of the confident and brick wall exterior Easton has shown me thus far.
I lower my sunglasses to fight off the bright sun, but alsoso I can glance his way when necessary without him noticing. Playing with my phone will keep my hands busy, but my mind is right there with him.
I’m goin’ to hell for this.
“Yeah, I’m okay. I promise. Just needed to get away for a while.”
So, who is Palmer?That’s definitely a female name, and not the same as the one on the boarding pass. My boarding pass.
“Fuck. I know. I feel horrible, sis. I know I fucked up a lot of things for a lot of people I care about, but I couldn’t do it. I had to leave.”
His sister. And the plot thickens.
He continues, “We talked. Hell, it was her idea for me to come here. But it feels wrong. Like I’m betraying him when I promised to do the opposite. I’m a fucking coward.”
I can’t hear what comes from the receiving end, but my heart sinks a little knowing the voice is likely showing the same emotion I feel exuding from Easton right now.
He’s breaking inside and doing a good job of hiding it.
Sadly, I understand that. The weight of life that feels so fucking heavy at times, I wonder how I haven’t been suffocated by my own issues by now. But I bury it because it’s easier than facing it.
It’s twisted, but it feels like the better way to care for myself, while also making sure my sister holds onto her peace.
“No, I am, Palmer. I never wanted any of this to happen. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.” The strain in his voice is tangible, like he’s holding on by a thread. “I’ve never been so conflicted by my own actions. Like I can finally breathe and not be gasping for air, but I also want to cut off my own leg.”
Suddenly, that big fat question mark I characterized Easton under doesn’t seem so neon. The luminosity is dimming, and the true color beneath his surface reveals itself.
I’m reminded that despite how lousy I may feel about my own life, there’s always someone in the world who has it worse. Someone fighting a battle so severe, they’d give anything to trade places with me.
Battles we know nothing about.
I’m fortunate, and I realize that now more than ever.
Easton is fighting something much bigger than me.
