‘I really don’t,’ I whisper, enamoured.
‘But when we get there, she stops grumbling. She loves it, like I knew she would, because I do know her pretty well by now. I know that she hates it when I leave the big light on and that she prefers raspberries to strawberries even though strawberries are an infinitely superior fruit.’
‘Callum, I must stop you there. Raspberries are way better than strawberries, surely you can see that?’
‘They’re flimsy and flavourless.’
I’m aghast. ‘But strawberries are so watery!’
‘Would you like me to continue or are you going to keep arguing?’ He beams.
I pretend to zip my mouth shut.
‘Where was I? That’s right, we’re going on great dates in London. Maybe somewhere further afield but we are most definitely not getting on another plane for a while yet.’
‘Amen to that. The carbon footprint has me panicking. I actually think we’re going to need to live off-grid for the foreseeable to try and get back to some kind of carbon neutral standing.’
Callum looks thoughtful. ‘Okay, so I’d better make sure all these dates are environmentally sound?’
‘Yes. We’re talking plastic free, zero emissions—’
‘So, no cars or Tubes or taxis? Sounds like we’re going to be doing a lot of walking and, I don’t know, litter picking?’
I wrinkle my nose. ‘Let’s not get bogged down in the finer details just yet. Please continue.’
‘After all the surprisingly sexy litter picking dates, I’m feeling confident. I ask you to move in with me. You write me a list of things I must achieve if we’re going to live together before you agree.’
‘That does sound like the sort of thing I’d do. Point one, stop using the big light.’
‘We find a flat not too far from work and we spend weekends at home stores. I paint the walls and ceilings, you paint the skirting boards. You get really excited about buying crockery. I get really excited about wall art. We’re very happy. But there’s just one problem.’
I gasp. ‘Oh no.’
‘There’s an itch that needs scratching.’
I cross my arms across my chest. This had all been going so well.
‘We never argue,’ he says.
‘Isn’t that a good thing?’
‘We spent so much time arguing before we hooked up that now we’re together, it’s like a constant honeymoon,’ Callum adds solemnly.
‘That sounds ideal,’ I chirrup, confused.
‘Oh, it’s great for us. But it means you need to find somewhere else to channel this … energy.’
‘I do? What about you?’
‘I’m perfectly content. Remember? I’m a very chill person.’
‘And I’m not?’ I squawk.
He beams at me. ‘So you quit your job at Kat Moretti and you set up on your own. It’s the perfect timing for you, because you feel like you’ve learned as much as you can there.’
‘Kat,’ I say. ‘Has she been right all along, Cal? She’s been telling us to thrash out our differences from day one.’
‘I know. It’s been terrifying, actually.’
