The lie was easy to tell.
She thought back to her morning at the apartment, and yet another argument with Jake. Well, she wasn’t even sure she could properly call it an argument, as all their days were so rushed now that they barely had time to speak to each other, let alone have a full-blown fight. In truth, they probably needed an explosion. At the moment, it was like storm clouds were building up above them, and the pressure was intense and stifling. They needed a burst of thunder, or a spark of lightning, to release it all.
All she knew was that things weren’t right between them.
As if on cue, her phone buzzed. Willow swiped the screen and was immediately presented with a new post by Jake. His star was rising online and his latest ‘day in the life’ vlog about being a first responder was already building traction. He was posting more and more of these lately, loving the attention they received.
Willow knew she should be pleased for him.
The truth was, Willow saw her boyfriend more online now than she ever did in real life.
And if she was honest – she was getting pretty sick of it.
Toby nudged her. ‘We better go. Time’s ticking.’ She saw his expression darken slightly as he peered down at the remains of her matcha drink. ‘And you better not let Kirk see you’ve been drinking that stuff, I’m not sure he’d be impressed.’
Willow wiped at her lips guiltily, already feeling like she had been sleeping with the enemy.
But she couldn’t deny it. She liked the taste.
Willow let herself into her small apartment building in the Belltown area, a short bus ride away from work. It was the cheapest she could find in the area and as a result it wasn’t very glamorous. The building itself was gray brick and the studio was clean, but very minimal, with magnolia-painted walls and views onto the leafy street beyond. It wasn’t too noisy, and with Jake’s help, Willow was able to make her rent payments, but sometimes she couldn’t help dreaming of more.
That same ache was inside her now as she threw down her purse and walked around the small space. Jake wasn’t back and wouldn’t be for some time, yet ironically, it felt more claustrophobic without him here. She wandered into the kitchen to make herself a drink, trying to distract herself. This desperate sense of longing and a sad feeling of not belonging was becoming more and more insistent and she yearned to shake it off.
When Jake and Willow had first moved to Seattle, they had both been so excited; it had been a joint dream. They had been so young at eighteen and craved big-city life.
When Willow secured a junior marketing role at Café Crème, it had been their first step on this huge adventure. They had left behind a quiet, and what they had both viewed as a quite mundane routine, back in Honey Springs – a small resort nestled high up in the Olympic Mountains. Growing up in a small town had its challenges and Willow could remember how desperate they had been to spread their wings and leave.
But now her mind kept drifting back to the peace and serenity that her childhood home offered. Yes, it could be suffocating at times, and everybody there always knew her business – but it was home. And it was safe and familiar. Even better, it had had the safety and comfort of her grandma, Martha, the person who had more or less brought her up.
Right now, Willow didn’t feel any of these things. Instead, her surroundings felt sterile and cold. And her job – the one she had fought so hard to succeed in – was beginning to feel toxic and lonely.
This apartment was so empty, especially without Jake in it. She thought back to their rushed morning, how he had hugged her briefly and grazed a kiss against her cheek.
‘I’ll probably be late tonight, babe. After my shift, a few of us are going out for drinks to celebrate Lola getting promoted.’
Willow wondered dryly whether he would be documenting that on his ‘day in a life’ too.
Willow drank her water slowly, staring out at the streets beyond. She heard her phone buzzing in her bag but chose to ignore it for a while. She knew she had lots of messages from Esmae that she needed to deal with. She also knew that Jake’s latest post was continuing to blow up.
While she was struggling in this new life they had built, Jake was flourishing. He loved Seattle and more importantly, he loved the life he was starting to build for himself online. But it was different for Willow. At first, she had loved it here and had slipped into her new corporate role quite effortlessly. It had been easy enough to forget about her life before.
That was until Grandma died. A year had passed since that awful day, but Willow knew it had caused a shift inside her.
Staring out at the view, Willow focused on the horizon. Even though it was impossible, she swore if she squinted hard enough, she could make out the soft outline of those familiar mountains.
It was almost as if something, or maybe someone, was calling her back.
Willow decided, after a little bit of daydreaming, that it was time to call Esmae. She could have simply sent her an email, outlining why they couldn’t use her on campaigns moving forward. Certainly, this would be the approach Kirk would take. But Willow was not Kirk and she had worked with Esmae for nearly two years now. In fact, Esmae had taken a chance on them when her reach was at its greatest.
The least she deserved was a phone call.
Esmae answered the phone quietly, almost as if she knew what was to come.
‘I’m sorry for the late call,’ Willow said gently. ‘I wanted to wait until I was outside of the office.’
‘That’s OK. I appreciate you phoning anyway.’ Esmae’s voice was still bright, but Willow could detect the slight crack in it. ‘And don’t worry, I know what you’re about to say.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Willow whispered. And she truly was.
