Esmae was a great influencer. Her account was fresh andfunny and had millions of subscribers, or at least it had until her cancelation.
‘What will you do next?’ Willow asked carefully.
‘Oh, don’t worry about me,’ she replied. ‘Me and Jed are thinking about heading to the West Coast, for some beach and sun and pure relaxation. These past few years have been heavy, you know? I’ve barely stopped for breath.’
Willow nodded. She knew that feeling all too well.
‘I’m beginning to think this could all be a good thing,’ Esmae continued breathlessly.
‘I can jump off the social media fast train and get some headspace, you know what I mean? I can take some time to find out what I really want to do next.’
‘That sounds perfect, Es,’ Willow said. ‘I’m almost jealous of you.’
Esmae laughed softly. ‘You could do the same, Willow. Any time. Just jump off whenever you want. It’s never too late. After all, life is precious, isn’t it? We should figure out exactly where we want to be and what we want to be doing with our lives. Not just making it up as we go along.’
‘Maybe you’re right.’
‘Don’t be scared of change, honey. I was for too long and in the end, I was pushed out. Sometimes I think fate takes us where we need to be.’
Willow ended the call with a smile. She was relieved that Esmae was making plans. It sounded like it would more or less work out for her.
Willow just wished that niggle of jealousy stinging her heart would go away.
Later, she curled up on the sofa. Her takeout pizza lay half discarded on the table beside her. She was reading messagesfrom Jake. He was on his way back home. Willow knew he would be tipsy and also excited about his latest post. At her last check, Willow saw that it had nearly a million views. She also noticed that the key influencer Alex Rose had shared it. That was pretty impressive.
Yet Esmae’s words kept repeating in her mind.
I need to jump off the social media train …
Sometimes I think fate takes us where we need to be …
Willow longed for those early days with Jake when they had been so in love and caught up in the moment. They hadn’t been documenting every second of their life together online. Willow knew she was as guilty of it as Jake. As soon as she started her marketing job in Seattle, the habit to upload their lives had kicked in. Everything they did together was posted – every meal, every day out, every success.
It was exhausting.
And it wasn’t real.
She didn’t record their arguments. She didn’t post about her lonely nights in, like this one, or her cold uneaten pizza. Or the fact that she no longer loved her job. In fact, she didn’t even like it.
She didn’t post any of that.
Willow felt a tug of longing again. Without thinking too much about it, she reached for her laptop and clicked onto the home page of Honey Springs. Immediately, the images swamped her and it was almost as if she could smell the fresh mountain scent of home. Willow scrolled through the pages, smiling as each image brought back a sweet memory – the fields where they used to play and the cute little colorful houses and shops that sat jumbled together on the roads leading from the mountains. When she was only seven years old, her mom had left town to find a newlife in Boston, leaving only Willow, her grandma and some childhood friends still living there. Later, her mom had offered Willow the chance to move with her to Boston, but by then, Willow had been an independent teen and was settled where she was.
It had been Jake’s idea to move to Seattle when they were both eighteen. It seemed the right thing to do at the time. They were in love, and he was training to be a first responder and could do that work anywhere. Jake had never really liked being in a small town and was always itching to leave.
Willow used to speak to her grandma weekly before she died; she knew not much had changed in their sleepy town, and there was something both comforting and wonderful in that thought. There were no fast trains to fall off in Honey Springs.
There you could take your time to really find out what you wanted to be.
A tug of sadness hit her as she thought of the wonderful woman who had helped raise her when her mom had been too busy running off with other men and setting up a life of her own.
Willow clicked on another image of Honey Springs. It was of The Diner, one of her favorite places to go when she was a teenager. She used to hang out there with Jake and other kids from school, drinking the most amazing milkshakes. Willow peered at the picture: it looked like the outside of The Diner had been repainted. She wondered who owned it now. It used to be Mel’s before she got sick. Willow liked Mel a lot. She had been the life and soul of the town and had always taken the time to talk to her customers. Mel’s son, Lucas, was the same age asWillow and Jake and had been in the same grade as them in school. Willow knew him as a dark-haired thoughtful boy, who she had been good friends with, especially when they were a lot younger. They drifted a little when she had gotten close to Jake and that was something she had always thought was sad. Lucas was sweet and funny and one of the cleverest people she knew.
She wondered where he was now. She guessed he was probably a long way away from Honey Springs. He always used to say that he dreamed of getting away.
Willow continued searching through the site, liking how the memories were settling her. Jake would tell her she was being silly doing this. He would tell her there was nothing left for them back in Honey Springs and he was probably right.
And yet she was still drawn in.
