“You’re diabolical,” Goober hissed.
“Pot, kettle, black,” I shot back. “Also.” I checked my watch. “I’m in a time crunch. I have places to be and things to do.”
If a person could combust from being angry, Goober would be fumes of vapor right now.
It was time to play ball.
I stared at the despicable being that had been revered by the Immortal world for millions of years. Goober glared back. A sadness overwhelmed me. How had someone who had once been good turned out this way?
Was it simply the inevitability of living forever? Was every Immortal destined to crack over time? Like Clarissa had? Like Zadkiel had?
Why had Goober caged the rest of the Higher Power? Had It been pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes since the very beginning? Was Its ego that big?
I had questions for Goober. I wanted answers, but here, in the void, I had many ways of getting them. Goober held the keys to me finding the other parts of Its triad and getting Jennifer and Alana Catherine back. I knew It wouldn’t hand them over willingly. Maybe if I bruised Its ego enough, It might give me the keys unwillingly. I didn’t care how I got the information I’d came for. I needed answers, and I would do what it took to get them.
“You were never meant to be the only one,” I said.
Goober’s expression showed shock for only a fraction of a second, but it was there.
“I know nothing of the nonsense you speak,” It said dismissively.
“Three,” I stated. “Three Higher Powers.”
It growled viciously at me. I’d hit a nerve.
“One,” It replied silkily. “Only one and that is me.”
I shrugged and chuckled. “Oh Goober! No need to lie anymore. I’ve met Cheese Dick. That one really doesn’t like you at all.”
“WHO?” Goober snarled. “What are you talking about?”
“You know, silly!” I said with a smile that didn’t reach my eyes. “Your buddy who you caged in the beginning. Cheese Dick is pissed and talking all kinds of shit on you.”
“LIES,” Goober bellowed.
“Nope,” Shitty Ritchie said with a giggle. “No lies. All true. Cheese Dick tried to decapitate me and failed. I ate you and survived Cheese Dick. SHITTY RITCHIE IS ALIVE AND HAS A HUGE DONG.”
I did a double take when I realized the tiny dumbass had his hand down his pants, checking out his new and improved junk. A stern look made him yank his hand out of his grundies and zip his lips.
I turned my focus back to Goober. Calling It Goober was ridiculous. Calling the other one Cheese Dick was just as stupid. It did bring a little second-grade boy humor to the situation, but I wanted their real names. If Goober wasn’t going to be agreeable, I knew how to get them. It was also possible that I could get all the information I needed by touching It. Granted, It had lived since the beginning and I’d have a lot of history to sift through, but I didn’t care. I’d come for information and I wasn’t going to leave without it.
“Hold my hand, Goober,” I told him, extending mine.
Goober was wary. It had no clue what was going on. We were in my territory now.
“I think not,” It snapped, backing away.
I shrugged. “Fine. Touching you isn’t appealing. It’s disgusting. I just figured you’d like to get out of here.”
It was torn. I wasn’t going to let It out yet… if ever, but that wasn’t for Goober to know. It had lied for centuries. Giving It back some of Its own medicine didn’t feel bad at all.
“You have no intention of letting me out,” Goober said, watching me as closely as I watched It.
“I’m out of here,” I said coldly. “I’m happy to leave you here for the rest of time. It’s rather fitting.”
“You need me,” It challenged, sounding desperate.
“Do I? Honestly, you’re suck a jerk, I’m not so sure.”
