“Hey Chuck!” I bellowed, taking the sword that Astrid handed me. “Have you met Satan? He’s really jazzed to make your acquaintance.” I grinned at Astrid. “Go on over, Satan and get to know Chuck. He’s a dick and not the good kind.”
I didn’t have to ask twice. My beautiful niece, wearing my skin, attacked Chuck like he held the last piece of food in the Universe and she was starving. Chuck didn’t stand a fucking chance.
“How many left?” Lizard called out as he thwacked the head off Schmuck.
“Four,” I shouted as I used the sword to get rid of yet another asshole. “Wait. Make that three.”
“Two,” Lizard grunted as he knocked a head off so violently with his bat, it flew through the window shattering the glass.
“One,” Martha shrieked as she and Jane decapitated one who was trying to get to Ethan and end him. Those old bags were protecting Ethan like they’d given birth to the man.
Maybe Elle was correct about having them as our nannies for Luke. Their protective violent streak was unmatched. It was difficult to admit when I was wrong, but I was wrong about the hookers. They were outstanding—annoying, but outstanding.
“None” Astrid announced, holding the head of the last remaining smelly asshole in the room.
She immediately turned and sprinted to Ethan. Carefully removing the needle from his arm, she lovingly kissed his forehead. Lizard was all over it removing the silver chains that bound the Vampyre as silver didn’t affect Demons.
Slowly, very slowly, he began to come to.
“Satan?” he asked, his voice rough and unsteady. “Did you just kiss me on the forehead?”
“Umm… no,” Astrid said quickly, backing away. “No, I was checking your… umm… temperature with my, you know, lips because that’s how we do it in Hell.”
It took a lot for me not to laugh. However, when Astrid came up behind me and pushed me toward Ethan, I was no longer laughing. At all. Talk about awkward.
“Astrid,” Ethan whispered brokenly, holding out his hand. “You’re okay.”
“Yes,” I said. “I’m Astrid and I’m okay.”
I was sure I heard Lizard, Martha, Jane and Satan, who wasn’t Satan, moan.
Taking one for the team, I grasped Ethan’s hand and pretended he was my son. It was the only way I could fake being my niece, Ethan’s wife, and still function. “Sleep. We’ll get you back to the Cressida House soon. We still have ten moreOklahoma Vamps to off. They’re glued in their coffins at the moment.”
“I’m sorry, what?” he asked, confused.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, brushing the man’s hair off of his face. “I’ll just pop upstairs and kill them. It’ll be fun!”
I definitely heard Astrid groan. What the fuck did she want me to say? I wasn’t good at this shit.
“No. No killing,” Ethan whispered as his eyes began to close in exhaustion. Thankfully, his color was coming back. He would make it. “We use them to make an example out of what happens when you fuck with us.”
“How?” I asked. I was all in for decapitation. This was a twist I didn’t expect.
“You choose, my love,” he whispered.
I looked over at Astrid, and she shrugged.
Well, fuck. Then… an idea hatched. A lovely, horrible, devious idea. “I know what to do.”
“Not surprising, Astrid,” Ethan said with a hint of a smile. “Tell me.”
“We make them eat. Food,” I clarified. “For a hundred years. Every day. Ten hours a day. They will be in convulsive agony twenty-four-seven. We can even sell tickets so other Vamps with nefarious plans will think twice. And… we can give the money from the ticket sales to the families of the victims the bastards murdered. And charities. Anonymously, of course. Win, Win. It will teach those assholes a lesson they will never in a million years forget.”
“Holy shit,” Ethan muttered with a weak laugh. “That’ll make our people think before they murder humans for sport or come for me and mine. Brilliant.”
He couldn’t keep his eyes open. The man fell asleep unknowingly holding the hand of the Devil. Gently releasing his hand, I stood frozen in my spot. I didn’t want to turn around.I’d just suggested giving money to charities. I didn’t give money to fucking charities. Well, maybe I did, but that was for me to know and nobody to fucking find out. My dick reputation was in tatters. What the Hell had I done?
“Uncle Fucker?” Astrid whispered as Ethan slept soundly.
