I knew my man well. He responded as expected. “Why did they leave him at home?”
“He’s been banned by the man-eating bitches for being a dick.”
I snipped off an inch. Satan looked like he was going to lose his shit. I didn’t care. This was serious business and he was screwing it up. I pointed at the script again.
He kept reading. “So, I think a little trip might cheer him up.”
“You’re going with him?” Ethan asked.
“Yes,” Satan said with an expression that was a cross between constipated and irate. “He doesn’t have any friends since he’s such a freaking jackass.”
Ethan chuckled through the line. Satan gave me a glare so vicious I was worried he was about to blow our cover.
Quickly muting the phone, I let the idiot have it. “Do you want to spend eternity with a vagina?” I hissed. “DO YOU?”
“No,” he snarled. “I want my enormous dick back.”
“Considering you are an enormous dick, that’s not surprising,” I said. “If you don’t pull this off, your dick is mine forever.”
He gulped and unmuted the call. “We had such a fun time in London, I think it would be nice for him. Plus, I don’t want him playing dead in public.”
“What was that?” Ethan asked, confused.
“Nothing,” Satan said.
I quickly wrote a few more notes on the script. The Devil rolled his eyes, but read them.
“Is everything okay with the Oklahoma Vamps?” he asked.
“Getting there,” Ethan said. “I might need your assistance in a few days, but hopefully not.”
I crossed my fingers. I seriously hoped not.
“I love you, Astrid,” Ethan said.
“Love you too,” Satan said, looking like he wanted to die.
“I have to go. Have fun with Uncle Fucker,” he told me then hung up.
The Devil stared at me. I stared back. The script had worked. Of course, he’d almost screwed it up, but the end result was what we’d wanted. So far, so good.
The rest was up to us.
