“What the actual fuck?” Candy Vargo mumbled.
“What did I tell you earlier?” Heather commented. “Ignore him.”
“That was more than expected,” Gideon said with a wince. “Jennifer, don’t think too hard, just answer the question. What would you like to do to the boulder?”
“Would this be before or after Shitty Ritchie reduced it to rubble and dusted his wank with it?” she inquired in all seriousness.
Gideon glanced up at the cloudless sky for a long beat. “Before. Long before.”
“Awesome,” Jennifer said. “I’d grab a nice bottle of Chablis, go to the right side of the boulder where it’s sunniest, and toastthe beauty of nature. I’d also name the rock so it doesn’t feel left out. That there boulder looks like a Jerry to me.”
“Agreed!” Shitty Ritchie chimed in.
“I see,” Gideon said with a slightly perplexed nod.
It was unclear what he hoped the experiment would result in, but it didn’t seem to be going all that well.
“Alana Catherine,” Gideon said. “What would you do with the boulder?”
She stared at it for a hot sec then nodded. “I’d use it to build something—something beautiful. Something that would last and make a difference to someone, or a bunch of someones.”
Charlie patted Gideon on the back. “Congrats, old man. I see what you did there.”
Heather and Tim nodded in agreement. The Demons all nodded. Gram and Mr. Jackson seemed like they were in on it, too. Hell, even June seemed clued in.
Only Candy Vargo and I were left out.
“I hate to be late to the party, but I don’t get it,” I said.
“Thank Jesus Heesus Christ that I’m not the only fuckin’ one,” Candy yelled. “I’m still stuck on the part about the little fucker washing his pecker with dust. That’s one nasty-ass visual.”
“Thank you!” Shitty Ritchie said.
“Wasn’t a compliment, jackass,” she shot back.
“Whoops! My bad,” he replied with a giggle.
“Moving on,” I said. I was done discussing Shitty Ritchie’s dusty privates. “Explain, please.”
Gideon let his gaze run over the Trinity before it landed on me. “I don’t believe that training Jennifer to fight is going to be necessary. The present Higher Power is a single being and has to possess all the qualities that make It the supreme leader.”
“I’d hardly call that fucker a supreme leader,” Candy grunted.
“I concur,” Gideon said. “However, at one point and for a very long time, the Higher Power did possess all the makings and gifts of the supreme being.”
I was starting to get it. “Keep going,” I urged.
“The Trinity Higher Power has divided and conquered the qualities necessary. Shitty Ritchie is the force. Jennifer is the healer of mankind. Alana Catherine is the visionary of the future.”
Candy Vargo squinted at him. “You figured all that shit out from a question about a rock?”
“I did. You want to challenge it?” Gideon inquired with a raised brow.
“Nope,” she replied with a grin. “What I wanna do is get rid of the fucker in charge now, so we can finally live in some fuckin’ peace for a while. I’m gettin’ tired of all the bullshit. You feel me?”
“I’d be honored,” Shitty Ritchie told her.
She drop-kicked the minuscule idiot all the way out to the boulder.
