Before I could respond the hair on the back of my neck rose and I knew it wasn’t from the human ATM in front of me. I felt eyes on me but they weren’t threatening. Someone was studying how I moved and if it was another woman I had no issue with her learning how to financially dominate a man. Of course, most of the ones in here were far too male-centered to ever truly turn thesituation into anything more than a sugar baby or transactional relationship. If it were a man, he would understand why I wore the mask. Men here had become possessive and I wasn’t about to have my very recognizable face somewhere that they could attempt to manipulate me. The Venetian-style mask was long enough to shield my features but allowed what was pertinent, my eyes and my mouth, to show. Everything else was up to their imagination. My eyes swept the room again taking in the carnality with aplomb before turning to my little arrogant porker.
“I could take whatever you sent me right now out of the bank in cash, set it on fire in the middle of Pennsylvania Avenue and not think about it ever again. Do not test me as though you are somehow a necessity in my life. Better men than you have tried and undoubtedly failed at capturing my attention. Keep this up and your bones will be next for the vultures to pick at once I’ve discarded you.”
“Mistress—”
Now he’d earned a reaction.
My blood-red lips, painted to match the color of my dress and the silks that hung from the ceiling, curled into a sneer of disgust.
“Did I stutter? I understand that English might not be my first language but it’s one that I’ve mastered well enough in at least two forms: the Standard American version and the Black American version. The last, of course, is my favorite. I didn’t stutter. Nothing about what I said called for you to do anything but tuck your tail and run along. If you’re unable to do that, then we have a larger problem than I originally thought.” I raised one brow giving him the haughtiest look I could manage without physically touching him to make my point. I envisioned wrapping a rope around his neck and pulling until his eyes bulged out.
And this, Asha, is why we haven’t gotten any further toward our dominatrix goals.
I had been under the illusion that being a dominatrix would allow me the space to fulfill my desires and still have the power dynamic I craved. Only my brain wouldn’t allow me to take that step because I knew having that type of unchecked power with someone took a lot of trust and I was too prone to do more harm than good if my track record was any sign.
To be fair, they had it coming.
So did he, but since his only crime was offending me I felt like it was too much to punish him with death. He lowered his head but I could tell that it pained him to do so. I sneered again internally because he wasn’t into this role the way he claimed he was. That meant that he would no longer have my attention or access to me after tonight. His only way to contact me was through my account or through the chat feature on theExplicitforum. I’d contact the admin to have his access to me revoked as soon as I got back home.
“My apologies. I await your attention whenever you decide to give it to me.”
He did some ridiculous bow before scurrying away. My eyes followed him and sure enough he needed to have his ego stroked since I wasn’t up for the task. He was heading into the room that was essentially a mass orgy. Women and men stood on the sidelines observing until they decided they wanted to be chosen. The actions could be viewed from an area of the club calledThe Deckwhere voyeurs could get their fix by watching every form of sex possible. It also gave them a closer view of the aerial artists. I’d been in the area several times myself and although it didn’t move me it was interesting to see how people would act when they felt as though no one knew them.
“Did the piggy cross the lines?”
No. Absolutely not.
I was startled at the sound of a voice that seemed close to me yet I didn’t detect a physical presence. My eyes narrowed as I took in the scent that seemed to smack me in the face when that impossible voice reached my ear. It was a deep rich scent: a mix of koa wood, Maile leaf and pikake. The fragrance was subtle, as though there had been an attempt to wash it from his skin but the attempt had failed because it had melded itself so deep it was part of his natural odor.
I’m losing my mind.
That wouldn’t have been unusual. In fact, I was due to have a mental fracturing considering all that life had thrown at me. Well,anothermental fracturing but I didn’t want to believe that my mind splintering had conjured up a man who sounded like sin and smelled like paradise.
What kind of awful joke would that be for a self-proclaimed misandrist?
I ignored what had to be a figment of my imagination and took in the people who were here tonight. The conjuring of a voice that sounded like the deepest, darkest and most sensual embodiment of lust had to be some new type of masochism. It was the only logical explanation I had.
Again, I wondered why I tortured myself with coming here. The silent battle of proclaiming myself above it all but undoubtedly intrigued by it as well dueled like combatants in my mind. Each side carrying validity and neither ensured of victory without total destruction. Sadly, that was the inevitable conclusion I’d drawn.
And to think Teegan thought she was making some headway with me.
I chuckled at my joke smiling internally at my thoughts knowing full well that Tee knew I was a hopeless case. She attempted to shrink my head in order to keep me tethered to the humanity I’d long since lost.The beauty of friendship, I guess.Attempting to keep your friend from being fully submerged in a fiery pit of abject madness, despite the flames already having consumed them up to their necks.
Does that mean my head is still safe from it though?
“I would compliment how lovely your smile is but I feel as though that would only earn me even more of your silent treatment.”
The voice was back but it was accompanied by more than just the scent. Now the physical presence that had been lacking before was there. It radiated heat and awareness that had me standing up straight, spine rigid and attempting to parse out the feelings washing over me yet again.
I felt on fire. A warmth that I wasn’t used to spread all over my body like a rash and had to be the embodiment of hellfire with the way it seemed to scorch every part of me against my will.
What the hell is that?
This was what had been missing when Mr. Perfect at the door had greeted me and offered his services. This innate reaction that no amount of logic could quell. My brain was telling me to run, which was not going to happen. History had proven I wasn’t a weak bitch and I hadn’t survived everything I’d been through to, in the words of Teegan,bitch up now.
I turned, wondering if this was a new manifestation of my mind or if this person were truly real. I grounded myself momentarily watching the women hang from the ceiling in their silks knowing that they were real. I didn’t imagine things often, normally what I saw were flashbacks of my pain but I wasn’t going to take a chance when something this… potent had its hold on me. When I landed on the entity, because calling him a man was woefully under-characterizing his being, I felt the need to tell Teegan to check me into a facility immediately. I might actually need the anti-hallucinogens after all.
“Are you real?”
