Enough was more than an understatement of the value that I brought to our organization. Besides our family running ports, my position within the government allowed me to have a heads-up on who was on the government’s radar and have us and our affiliates stay twenty steps ahead of anyone who even thought to cross us. Those foolish enough to upset the careful balance that we operated under were few, but it didn’t mean that some dumb ass didn’t think he was bigger than the program. They quickly found out that couldn’t be further from the truth.
His face looked the same but I noticed the way his brows softened at my statement. Pappy was one of the few people who could see the unguarded side of me and I’d clearly spoken too defensively if he was looking at me like that.
“You know I’m the last one to act as though you haven’t done more than your fair share with the family business. You all but run it now in addition to everything you do for your job.Keiki, everyone knows the lengths you’ve gone through to right the wrongs you didn’t commit. I don’t want your hardness or your resentment to show up in your interactions with your brothers.”
He intertwined his fingers together before resting them on his blazer-clad stomach. Pappy was watching me, gauging to see if resentment had already started to creep in. Since he raised me better than that I should’ve been offended but I understood why he could no longer make assumptions about the life lessons he taught being implemented. My father was more than enough proof that good men could raise shitty sons no matter how hard they tried.
“That would never happen.”
My anger was reserved for a select few and the men who had become my only siblings weren’t in that number. They had proven repeatedly that I could trust them with my life and they could trust me with theirs. Despite our less than legal avenues of business, they’d even helped me excel in my personal life. If you could call it excelling. It was only because of my brothers that I wasn’t a complete recluse. Their ability to have a normal life or at least a personal one didn’t give me hope because of my beliefs on marriage. Mainly that it would ruin everything. They had found good women, ones I was proud to call my sisters and would do anything for. I’d stood up with each of them as they took their vows and did what I could from my position in DC to ensure that their lives weren’t interrupted. Bullshit still happened, but I was happily there to help rectify any wrongdoings. That would never change.
Yacouba’s wife, Jasmine, seemed determined to find me the perfect woman. I wasn’t going to have that kind of luck.
I knew my father’s blood and his attitude were strong in me and I wasn’t going to ruin some girl’s life by attaching myself to her. To take a girl who had the vision of love and romance and break her down the way he’d doneher. It wouldn’t be intentional but my inability to let someone get close to me on that level would eventually break even the strongest woman. Women needed softness and understanding: two things I was sure I couldn’t provide anyone and didn’t want to try. It wasn’t selfish to know my faults and to understand that I couldn’t give someone those parts of me. I could find a gold digger and allow her to spend my money and us lead virtually separate lives, but with the family business she would be too much of a liability. Having to kill a woman that I willingly brought into my life wasn’t on my to-do list. So I was happy to live my life by watching everyone around me find their person. Even if the circumstances of how they found them were less than traditional.
I leaned back in the custom-made leather chair that dotted the table inside my grandfather’s private office. We normally discussed business at our office but he had me meet him out in Bethesda so we had privacy. No one could get on this property or fly overhead without being observed so it was more secure than most buildings that I worked in daily.
“You might not intend for it to happen but you’re not made of stone, Ori. No matter how cold you think your heart is, you still have one. Waiting for the person with the right fire to bring it to life.”
I’m sure he thought the love he and my grandmother had given me was going to somehow give me hope of having the same thing. But it wouldn’t. In fact, the damage my grandmother’s death caused him made me even more sure I didn’t want to find someone who spoke to every part of my being like she did his. He was devastated by her loss after almost fiftyyears of marriage and I knew I was the only reason he kept it together for as long as he did. He had to survive until I could step in and run things. I wasn’t even sure if Pappy had the chance to grieve for her properly yet. He kept his focus on business and on me to ensure he didn’t have to deal with his feelings. Crazy how he wanted to talk about mine now.
“If you think so, Pappy.”
The corner of his mouth quirked into a smile, and he shook his head slightly. His hair was cut low making his curls look tighter since he didn’t have the weight the previous length provided to weigh them down. It was times like this that I could see his father’s heritage shining through.
“I can tell you’ve already stopped listening so I will move on to something else. Right now I have no issue with you doing what you need to in order to clear out the last of the cases that you have. But you need to look at taking your place around the end of the year.”
“The end of the year? That’s less than twelve months away.” It was already January so how he thought I was going to put in for retirement with less than a year’s notice was beyond me. Despite the fucked up shit the new administration was doing with instating their bullshit government, I knew my job was secure. Stupid ass head of our organization aside, the higher-ups knew I was too valuable to lose. Not that I knew too much, I made them look too good by closing out cases and bringing in the individuals they were no longer affording their protection. That type of public PR wasn’t something they were just going to let go without a fight. Besides that, I was actually good at my job. My ability to profile criminals and follow clues others deemed inconsequential forced me up the ranks faster than my peers and they hated me for it. Physically I looked like I’d been given the serum they gave Steve Rogers so of course no one thought my mental should be up to par.
I guess a fucked-up conception and childhood had the universe pouring extra blessings as an apology.
“You’re wanting more time or less?” Pappy knew above everyone else that I was ready to get the fuck out of the government but I had to still hold my place until I got the official go-ahead to leave. My grandfather saying what he meant was that things were in the works for me to no longer have to be here. Which meant someone else was stepping in to be available to provide us with information.
I was curious to see who it was since few of my brothers had blood siblings who weren’t already tied up in businesses or work for the family.
“I’m stating a fact.”
“You are. But you also can’t quit abruptly without having issues. And the desire to have eyes in place for us is also still a key factor in why you were there to begin with. And let’s not forget your partner. I’m sure he’ll be pissed to be left high and dry.”
I smirked at my grandfather’s words because he wasn’t wrong. Vega’s ass was going to be highly pissed when he found out I was getting the option to leave all this shit behind. He could too, but his family still needed him to be in place where he was. I wasn’t going to sugarcoat this shit for him. Vega was as good as I was with what he did. We understood the criminal mind because we were criminals. Not in how the people we tracked were but we’d seen the depths people would go through to survive. To attain power and to keep it. Polite society and the place of always being centered and considered that so many of our counterparts came from meant they were working with blinders. They often couldn’t remove the prejudices they had despite statistics showing that it was more of them, white men, that engaged in the crimes that landed on our desks. Hypocrisy was an amazing tool of white supremacy which allowed both ofus to excel where others failed. I wasn’t sure if Vega was going to traverse this solo or if he was going to speak to his people about getting out. Knowing him he’d suck it up and keep working.
The things we do for family.
Pappy continued before I could give my opinion on Alec.
“He’ll get over it. Or he’ll finally transfer south, like the family has been wanting him to. Using our ports and carriers has been more than lucrative for both families. That’s not a tie we’ll break anytime soon. I know that they don’t like to rely on just anyone to get their information for them so he might need more time to get away.”
“Unless he gets angry he’s stuck in the government without me.”
“Again, I think he’ll be fine because he understands, more than anyone, the family dynamic that you come from. I’m not doubting that you’ll be more than able to get away from all this when the time is right. I know you have all the routes memorized so I’m not going to question you on that. How do you think you’ll be able to handle everything else?”
I gritted my teeth causing my jaw to clench as I thought about the everything else he was referring to. My father’s family. I didn’t have family in my eyes outside of my grandfather but he still had relatives. The history between my mother's and father’s people was intense. And ugly. A feud that started almost immediately at my conception and now thirty-five years later, was still some bullshit.
And I was about to step in as head of it all.
The only ally I truly felt I had on either side of the family was Pappy and even he was alienated from the Nakoa side and still held at arm’s length and greeted with disdain by the Franklins. They hated that someone they deemed an outsider was now in charge of their family’s legacy but that was their own greed biting them in the ass. And laziness.
“Are you worried that I won’t be able to handle it?” The muscle in my jaw ticked again at the thought of being doubted and it was twice as irritating to think he might feel that way. This room was one that I had been in often since we’d made the move across country. It wasn’t my childhood home nor Pappy’s main house, but it was where we’d ended up because of business. It turned out to be a smart move since I ended up working in the government sector. They could see how good I looked on paper and not question a lot. To them I was the little orphaned boy who lived with his grandfather. The mental tests they’d had me do showed I was eager to belong, which made me susceptible to their bullshit. It was laughable how easy those things were to fake in order for them to think I was what they were looking for. My high school reputation of being a loner but extremely intelligent also played a large factor into how I was recruited to the service.
