We all nod again and scramble towards the little stage at the back of the pub, while I work out a strategy to try to enjoy the rest of the evening.
Mum is an amazing singer.
Dad was not.
Vinny and Antonio take after Mum voice-wise.
And I take after Dad.
So my policy with all karaoke is to sing nice and quietly while really going for it with the dance moves (and then no-one notices that I’m practically just mouthing the words). And that is broadly the policy I’m going to put into practice here. Except I might feel annoyingly self-conscious about going for it in front of Dominic quite as big as I normally would, so I might just stand behind him so I can do my dancing thing without him seeing.
As we step onto the stage, I place myself behind him, like a backing singer.
‘No, no,’ Vinny says. ‘We need to win, and a winning team does not have its shorter members at the back and invisible.’ He nudges us all into place so that the three taller members of the group (him, Dominic and Bertie) are standing at the back and the three shorter members (me, Amelie and Rose) are in front of them.
Vinny has placed me right in front of Dominic. It’s quite a squeeze on the stage, so when I move I keep inadvertently bumping into him, which makes me go slightly rigid with worry that I’m going to do it again and look as though I’mtryingto. Then I sense him moving backwards, away from me, which makes me go slightly rigid withshame.
I need to get over myself and just ignore him.
Mum claps her hands.
‘Vinny,’ she calls. ‘What song is first?’
‘First up is obviously ABBA,’ Vinny says. ‘Before we start, though, does anyone need a bit more lubrication?’
I decide that some more lubrication would be anexcellentidea to take my mind off Dominic behind me, and take two tequila shots from the tray that Antonio’s husband, Dai, has just magicked up, and down them like I’m speed-drinking for money.
I choke slightly and then, as a warm, ‘actually I don’t care about Dominic being here as much as I thought I did’ feeling spreads through me, decide that a third would be a good idea.
‘Flavia?’ Vinny questions from my left.
‘Vinny?’ I mimic, not unlike a toddler.
‘Just… you don’t usually down shots like that?’
‘And today I do?’ I’m still sounding like a toddler, possibly a slightly petulant one.
‘Hey.’ Dominic seems to be coming to my rescue, swooping from behind me on the shots tray and taking another two, one in each hand. ‘I think it’s an evening for shots.’ He downs them both and places the glasses back on the tray.
‘Shots it is,’ says Dai gleefully. ‘Next up, baby Guinnesses all round. Back in a second.’
I only have one of those, because they’re quite creamy and my stomach is already beginning to churn. Iam, though, despite my heaving tummy, feeling very ready to give the dancing my all.
‘Super Trouper’begins to blare out of the pub karaoke machine and I amaway. I’m beating Agnetha and Anni-Frid at their own game. All I need is some seventies flares and some mega platforms and you wouldn’t be able to tell me from the original. In my head, anyway.
We all – some of us more than others – boogie away for the first few bars, and then the singing starts. I begin my mouthing of the words, while those with better voices begin to sing. And it turns out that Dominic has alovelyvoice. I perform a one-and-a-half pirouette so that I can turn round to see him better.
‘Itisyou.’ I poke him in the chest, remembering as I do so that Ilovethat very solid chest. ‘You have a very nice voice.’
He grins, and takes a break from the actual words to sing, ‘Why, thank you, and you’re an excellent dancer.’
‘Oh my goodness,’ I say, shimmying all the way down to the floor and back up again and only swaying a little bit as I do so. ‘You’re really good at setting words to music too.’ I’m struck by a thought. ‘Why don’t you do it as a job?Dreamjob.’ I’m thinking about our jobs conversation in Cape Town.
‘Good idea,’ Dominic sings very seriously. ‘I’ll think about it.’
I smile, satisfied, and then turn back round and carry on with my dancing, putting as much effort into it as the occasion warrants (a lot).
We do a fantastic job if I say so myself, and stay in to the next round.
