“I’ve tried to tell her what to do, but she doesn’t listen. No matter how much I try to pressure her or remind her they will kill her, Lauren just doesn’t care. And I can’t keep risking my life to save hers. One day they won’t care anymore.”
“I don’t really think they care now. But, you are good at what you do, so they allow it.” Bella increases the incline on her treadmill before continuing.
“All I’ll say is, at some point you have to realise when to put yourself first. It’s kill or be killed here, Darlia. And Lauren doesn’t kill.”
“I can’t force her. She would just run away and then become a target. And I can’t handle the thought of being sent after her.” Bella is right on every count, but as much as I hate Lauren for putting us in this situation, I understand her, too.
None of us asked for this life or this job. But the rest of us don’t protest publicly like she does, either.
Bella and I lose track of time talking, doing a combination of running and walking until our muscles protest every movement and I feel myself getting light-headed from not leaving earlier for lunch. By the time we both finish on the treadmills, our lungs burn with the effort it takes to breathe, our chests heaving as sweat drips from our bodies.
My muscles protest every movement as we walk towards the assigned bunk rooms. I’m almost about to pass out from low blood sugar, my vision blurring. Eight hours. We were on the treadmills for eight hours, and I had forgotten to eat at the elite event we went to last night for our mission, so there was no food remaining after dinner for us. And it will be another hour before dinner is ready for today.
“I can’t take another step,” Bella whines, looking about as ready to collapse as I am. And I know for sure if she falls, there is no hope for me. It would be a domino effect.
“Don’t you dare fall. If you give up, I will, too.”
“Darlia, it hurts!” she whines, clutching on to me like I’m supposed to help her.
“Whose idea was it to stay on the treadmill for eight fucking hours?” Bella’s cheeks flushed slightly in a way they wouldn’t usually, but in the privacy of the steps leading to the bunk rooms, we could be ourselves for just another moment.
“I thought you would give up after an hour!” Bella tries to defend herself, but we both know it’s bullshit. Neither of us know how to back down or give up. It’s why we survive.
“You suck,” I groan, forcing my stiff leg up another step, then another, until we reach the top. Both of us collapse, our bodies giving out to the exhaustion.
“I hate you,” I mumble, closing my eyes for a moment and feeling my body scream at me.
After a long stretch of silence, only filled by the sound of our laboured breathing, Bella breaks it. “If we ever make it out of here, I’m gonna find my mama.”
Confusion flows through me unlike anything before, and my eyes shoot open in response as I look at her. It’s the first time she’s ever talked about her family. “Your mum is alive? I thought they only took people with no families?”
Every single time we had been told they saved us. Why would Bella be any different? Maybe her mum gave her to The Academy? Though I can’t understand why any mum would leave their daughter in a place like this. Especially not Bella, considering she arrived when she was thirteen.
“I hope so, I don’t even know. But if she is, I’ll find her.”
There’s a determination to Bella’s voice unlike anything I’ve ever heard before, making something inside me ache for her. It makes sense now; her mum died but she can’t remember and that’s why The Academy took her. I can’t help but pity the hope she’s clinging to, the same hope I used to cling to.
“If we get out of here, I’ll help you,” I promise, knowing there’s no point.
?
Lauren is crying in the bed beside me again, trying her very best to be quiet despite the fact she’s not quiet at all. If the lights were on, I’m sure her eyes would be red and puffy, but they aren’t. It’s past curfew, and we definitely should be asleep, but just for tonight I don’t want to leave her alone. Like Shayleen did for me.
“Lauren?” I whisper, turning to face her bed while lying in mine. I hear the sound of rustling come from her side of the room, probably turning towards me.
“Yeah?” Her voice breaks despite the effort she makes to hide it.
“You okay?”
“Mhmm.”
Did I do this? Did I make her shut down like this? Sure, I haven’t been her biggest supporter in showing her emotions publicly, but when we’re alone it’s different. Lauren would know that, wouldn’t she?
“Do you wanna talk about it?” I try my hardest to keep my voice even, trying not to sound like I’m judging her or mad at her for crying, because I’m not. Sure, it’s a little annoying some nights when I just want to sleep, but Lauren is still my sister.
“Not really,” she whispers back. The sound of the blanket rustling fills the room, and I’m pretty sure she just pulled the blankets under her chin.
“You know I’m here for you, right?”
