There’s a dry laugh from the other side of the room that makes my stomach feel uneasy. I know I’ve been hard on her, but it’s out of sheer desperation to keep her alive.
Yet she always throws it back in my face.
Standing from my bed, I walk over to Lauren’s and slide under the blanket with her. The beds aren’t big enough for two, but I’m not letting her sleep alone tonight. For some reason, I feel like I need to be here.
“Darlia, you don’t–”
“Sleep. And don’t cuddle me, stay on your side of the bed.”
“Thank you, D,” Lauren whispers, resting her head on my arm, disobeying my no-cuddling rule immediately. Little brat.
“Whatever. Sleep,” I tell her.
Chapter 5:
15 years earlier - Age four
Walking down the sidewalk, I jump down the hopscotch Mummy drew for me on the path. We’re almost out of chalk, so she said this would be the last one for a while. I want to use it as many times as I can before it goes away again.
Hopping on one foot, I cling my bunny, Mr Muffins, closer to my chest, careful not to drop him. It’s so hard to clean him when he’s dirty, and Mummy won’t let him under the blanket with me when he’s dirty. Counting, I hop the three spaces. One…two…three…then I jump a big jump like a starfish, landing on four and five. My tummy rumbles, but I ignore it as I hop two more spaces. Six, seven, then, one last jump to eight and nine, standing like a starfish.
Mummy said I’m good at hopscotch, that I can count to nine like a big girl! I’m the only one in our group who can count to nine; not even Lucas can and he’s nine years old himself.
“Hey, Darlia.” My friend Chloe smiles at me. She’s four like me, but she’s so much smaller than me. Mummy said it’s because she doesn’t get as much in her food packs, but I don’t understand why her mummy gets less than us. We’re all hungry, why isn’t she as hungry as me?
“Hi, Chloe, wanna play hopscotch?” She smiles and nods, joining me on the chalk and my tummy rumbles again. I haven’t eaten since the sun was awake yesterday, and the sun is sleeping now.
“Chloe, have you seen Mummy?”
“Nope, my mummy isn’t back yet either. But it’s food day.”
Food day, the day that the scary looking men hand out packs of food to our mummies. They have guns always in their hands. Mummy said guns are bad and hurt people, so I’m not allowed to go near the scary men.
When I can’t take the pain in my belly anymore, I walk back towards where Mummy and I sleep, in the corner of the new order building. The entire bottom floor is for people like me and Mummy without a big fancy house. We have a mattress and a blanket we share, and Mummy has her work bag when she gets back from her station.
Sitting down on the mattress, I hold Mr Muffins closely, squeezing him to my chest and hiding under the blankets. Sometimes when my tummy rumbles, my body gets really cold. So if I go under the blanket now, I can’t get cold later.
“Lia.” My best friend’s voice surprises me, and I peek out of the blanket, smiling.
“Ash!” I squeal, throwing open the blankets. I jump up into his arms that wrap around me immediately, his warmth making my shivers stop.
“Were you with Chloe again?” Ash asks, keeping his arms tightly around me.
“Yes! We played hopscotch,” I say proudly, wrapping my arms around Ash’s neck, but he’s tall and has to lift me off the ground so I can reach.
“Lia?”
“Yes?”
Ash nods his head towards the bed. “You’re cold, lay down.”
I don’t argue, crawling back under the covers. I hold open the blanket, inviting Ash into the warmth with me. His arms wrap around me as he cuddles into me. I like cuddles, they make me feel safe and warm. Especially Ash’s cuddles.
Ash is older than me by four years, he’s all grown up unlike me. I wish I could be a big kid like him. He gets to stay up later, and he even helps the scary guys sometimes. I don’t like that part as much.
“Here, eat.” Ash holds out a ration bar to me, and I shake my head.
“You need that, my mummy will be back with our food soon.” Something I don’t understand flickers in his eyes before he holds out the bar to me again.
