Logan leaned against the countertop, and she walked up beside him. How many times had the two of them hung out in this kitchen sharing snacks and stories from their days? In a strange way, it felt like old times as she dipped her cookies into her glass. She let it sit in the milk for several moments, allowing the crunchy treat to soak up as much liquid as possible without breaking and settling into the bottom of her glass.
“Better than I remembered,” Logan said from beside her, chewing on a bite.
Erin wondered how long it had been since Logan enjoyed the simplicity of cookies and milk. It hadn’t been very long for Erin. She’d shared this treat with her children all the time, but the way Logan savoredhis bite with his eyes closed, Erin imagined it had been a while.
She was happy he was here, happy to have her friend back after so much time. Erin realized with a pang of sadness that there were so many things the two of them had missed out on. She mourned the time that had passed that they could never get back. She needed to know why he’d left. It was finally time to have this conversation.
Erin took a steadying breath. “Why did you leave?” She hoped that the fact that they’d started becoming more comfortable with one another would mean he would answer this time.
Logan’s hand stilled, the cookie hovering above his glass. “I ... ”
“Please.” Her voice was quiet. “I just need to know why you disappeared.”
Logan took a deep breath as he set the half-eaten cookie and glass on the counter. He wiped his hands over the front of his jeans. “It’s been a long couple of days. Parker is sick. Are you sure you want to do this now?”
Erin didn’t understand. Had something awful happened that she’d been completely in the dark about? Hadshebeen the terrible friend all this time? She shifted so that she was facing him. She put her hand on his arm. “Logan, what happened?”
He pushed off the counter and stepped back, so that her hand fell. His forehead creased in worry. Erinwanted to grab him with both of her hands and shake him until he just spit it out, but Logan would speak the words when he was ready. She held her breath as she waited.
“I left,” his eyes bored into hers, “because I was in love with you.”
Erin felt like she’d been punched in the gut. All the breath left her lungs, and she gripped the counter as she tried to force herself to breathe. He left because he was in love with her? There was no way she’d heard him correctly. “What?”
Logan’s face was scrunched up and he put his hands out in front of him. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair of me. I shouldn’t have told you.” He looked at her for a beat longer before he turned to walk away.
She reached out to grab his arm before he could leave, barely gripping his bicep before he was out of reach. “Don’t go.” Erin was surprised by how firm her voice sounded to her ears, considering she could barely speak.
Logan stopped, but he didn’t turn to face her. They stood in silence like this for what felt like an eternity. The ticking of the second hand on the wall clock was the only sound in the room. Erin wanted Logan to explain, but as time continued to march on and he didn’t say anything, she realized she would have to prompt him if she wanted to know more.
“I don’t understand,” she said, pulling her handfrom where she held him. “We’re friends. You always treated me like a friend.”
“I know.” Logan’s shoulders sagged. “I wish I could say when things shifted from strictly platonic into something more romantic. Maybe those feelings had been there all along and I just didn’t realize it.” His head bowed toward the floor. “All I know is when Jake showed me the engagement ring, something in me snapped. Things were changing, and I was going to get left behind. Or mess everything up. There was only one option. I had to leave.”
She took a tentative step toward him. “You left ... because you loved me?”
He heard Logan’s loud swallow. “Yeah.”
Erin’s hand went to her mouth as she attempted to process the weight of what Logan had just admitted. If this was true, if Logan truly loved her and it wasn’t just some childhood crush, she could understand he wouldn’t feel like he had another choice. It would be impossible to stand by and watch as she and Jake got married and started a family. It would have put a wedge in their relationships and could have possibly ruined things beyond repair.
It had been painful when Logan left. Without an explanation, she’d been confused and hurt. But she now understood that he didn’t feel like he had a choice.
“I didn’t know.” The words felt so insignificantcompared to what he’d just admitted, but he had to know that she didn’t have a clue.
Would things have been different if she had? Erin shook her head. No, she could not,would not, go down that path. She had loved Jake and had been happy with him before he’d died. She twisted the wedding band that she still wore on her left hand. Logan’s admission didn’t change her relationship with Jake. She’d been his wife for ten years.
Logan turned, his eyes finding hers. He left out a self-deprecating laugh. “Yeah, like I said, I didn’t know either. By the time I realized it, it was too late. I want you to know I am so sorry that I left like that. I wish I would have done things differently.”
“Logan.”
Grief filled his features as he looked at her. “Will you forgive me?”
Erin’s heart shattered. Just a few weeks ago, if someone would have asked her if she could ever forgive Logan for what he’d done, she wouldn’t have had an answer. Now, after spending these last couple of weeks with him and hearing his confession, there was no question. Her friend was standing before her, broken and raw and hurting. “I forgive you.”
His shoulders relaxed. Erin could see the shimmer of unshed tears in his eyes as he nodded. “Thank you.”
“I hate that you’ve been carrying this around.”
“It’s fine.”
