“Rainier, it’s okay to likeMichelle.”
I couldn’t do another talk. Not tonight, absolutely not with Jenny. “Listen, I gotta go. Have the guys let me know what they end up deciding.” I nodded my head in the direction of the heated conversation that continued between CarterandMatt.
With that, I grabbed my guitar and walked out, not feeling the least bit guiltyaboutit.
ChapterTwenty-Five
Michelle
Thiswasit.
Between The Pages’ final day wasn’t until Sunday, but my last shift was today. It was bittersweet considering I’d grown to love this place. And while I’d told Rainier not to romanticized my childhood spent within these walls, I was sadder than I thought Iwouldbe.
The fact that Rainier was my co-worker that evening made it that much harder. Thankfully, we shared the closing shift, which was only threehourslong.
Three hours. Plenty of customers looking for last minute deals. I coulddoit.
I walked into the store to find Rainier already in his usual spot. Just the sight of him behind the counter was enough to cause my heart to skip a beat, even without the goofy grin I'd become so accustomed to over the last few weeks. Things would never be the same. There would be no more reading together, no moreteasing.
“Michelle,” he said with all politeness, making me question whether or not I had imagined the sad smile I saw when I approached. How could he act so calm and collected when I felt likescreaming?
“Rainier."
“It’s been pretty busy today,” he continued, his voice even. “A lot of our regulars have been in clearingthingsout.”
I noddedmyhead.
“Even Mrs. Bristol is over in romance making a small pile as wespeak.”
I looked over to see her with a small pile at her feet as she ran her fingers over the spines of the remaining books on the shelves. Every so often, she would grab a book and read the back cover. Sometimes the book went back on the shelf, other times it went on top of the pile she wasmaking.
I stayed at the register and watched her as Rainier rang up the purchases of the other customers in the store, but eventually, it got to be too much. Standing so close to Rainier was unbearable, knowing what it felt like to be on the receiving end of his smiles, knowing what it felt like tokisshim.
I let out a sigh and walked over to Mrs. Bristol. She wore frumpy clothing while her brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail. I hadn't thought she was pretty the first time I saw her, but seeing her now, I saw that she had a subtle beauty that didn't rely on being flashy. I wondered what it would be like to stop caring what everyone thought and to live the way Iwanted.
Did I even know what I wantedanymore?
When Mrs. Bristol noticed my approach, she stopped her perusal to look at me. There wasn’t anger or even embarrassment on her face, only resignation. She waited for me to speakfirst.
“Rainier said you’re a widow," I said withoutthinking.
She looked shocked but recovered quickly. “Iam.”
“How long has it been sincehedied?”
“A year ago.” Tears started forming inhereyes.
Surprised she was answering my questions, I pushed on. “And does reading stuff like this help withthepain?”
“Are you making fun of meagain?”
“Let’s just say, I’m asking for afriend.”
Mrs. Bristol examined my face for a long time before answering. “I loved my husband very much. I miss him every single day. Sometimes these books make the sting of loneliness more bearable. Other times, it makes me more aware of what I’mmissing.”
I reached down and grabbed her pile of books from the ground. “My dad owns the store, and I know if he were here right now, he’d want me to give these to you. You’ve been a loyal customer for a long time from what Icantell.”
“What happens when your dad isn't too keen on you givingbooksaway?”
