It was only when the muffins were in the oven and a marathon cleaning-up session had commenced that Saskia found possibly the only silver lining.
Oh well. At least she distracted me from the anxiety over the chocolate muffins.
Chapter Forty-Two
Kivi
Despite very nearly fucking it up, Kivi began to relax into the relationship over the next week.
Not that she could do much relaxing, given that the summer rush was well and truly underway. Their blissful little weekend off had been the calm before the storm. After that, she was fully booked for the summer – not in the least because, in an executive decision intended to ensure they maximised every last second of the rest of their time together, Saskia moved out of her room and into Kivi’s annex. She continued her work – now polishing off her Cornwall articles, apparently – while Kivi did hers, but every moment they could, they spent together. They didn’t exactly go on dates, unless you counted daily walks with Toto (which Saskia did alone sometimes if Kivi was overrun at the guest house), but they spent every evening curled up together. Sometimes they put a film on, sometimes they just talked. They both knew they had to make the most of the time they had left. Saskia was due to leave in just over a week, and although they knew she would be coming back, there was no way of knowing how long it would take. Saskia had to sort things out, talk to her mum and brother, reconcile them to the fact that shewas considering moving permanently nearly 300 miles away… none of which would be easy. Especially not when she was just starting to repair her relationships with them. So they basked in each other, revelled in simply being together, because neither of them had any idea for how long they would be parted. That was… if Saskia even wanted to continue the relationship.Not thinking about that.
By the end of the week, Eva intervened. She had been watching Kivi grow increasingly woebegone throughout the week, with the sharp eye of an older sister, and on the Friday she sat her down in the empty guest lounge under the pretence of there being something wrong with Kivi’s old nemesis, the vacuum cleaner.
“This bloody thing is always causing trouble,” Kivi grumbled as she sat on the sofa and lifted the red machine onto her lap. “Come on, mate. Co-operate with us here.”
Then Eva lifted the machine right out of her hands, and set it on the floor. “Now that I’vefinallygot you to sit down,” she said, “we need to talk.”
“Wha-?Weneed to talk?” Kivi said, furrowing her brow. “Didn’t we do that at brunch last weekend?” They had. They’d had a long and revealing talk, by the end of which they’d hugged and agreed that they both felt far better for it.
“Okay, that was not the best line I could have used,” Eva agreed, “but it was the best I could come up with on the spot. You’ve been walking around all week looking increasingly like you’re about to wave Saskia off to sea or something. And I can guess how you feel: split between keeping this place going, trying to plan Cass and Felicia’s wedding,andspending as much time as is humanly possible with Saskia before she goes home. Am I right?”
“Perfectly right,” Kivi sighed. “All I want is to be with her. But in a week and a half, she’ll be gone for an indefinite period of time, and who’s to say she’ll come back? Sure, shesaysshe will, but what if she gets back home and realises that it’s too much upheaval, to uproot her life just for the sake of being with me? What if I’m not enough, Evs?”
Damn it. She hadn’t felt the tears rising, but on that last sentence, her voice broke and they dripped down her face.
“Kiera Chadwick,” Eva said sternly, even as she pulled her into a sideways hug around the tube of the vacuum cleaner, “youareenough. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. When I first knew her, I’d have never thought it possible for such a sharp face to soften so much.” She chuckled. “How is it, living with her?”
“Feels like an extended sleepover at the moment,” Kivi laughed, wiping away her tears. “But it’s actually proving to be a good trial run for what it’ll be like when…ifshe comes back. The annex seems a lot smaller with the two of us in it. And dog. We’re starting to find out what pisses each other off. She’s a serial shedder. I’m already finding her hair everywhere, even though it’s quite short. What with her and Toto, it’s like living in a salon. She doesn’t like the art I have on my bedroom wall, the piece with all the colours. She says it reminds her of unicorn vomit, but I’m loathe to remove it. It’s feng shui again – a perfect blend of colours to bring me all the things I want most in life: peace, nature, and the odd flash of something stronger and more vibrant. But we… we’ll compromise. She says she has a piece of art on her bedroom wall at home that’s bright red with haywire black lines. She’s a passionate person. If that doesn’t sum up our differences…” Kivi tailed off, ending her word splurge.
“Difference is good in a relationship,” Eva said. “Look at Mum and Dad. One introvert, one extravert. One nerd, one jack-the-lass. One relatively spiritual, one completely agnostic. Theybalance each other out. Just as I think you and Saskia will, in time.”
“What time?” Kivi said, running her fingers through her hair aggravatedly. “Time is the one thing we don’t have. And I’m rushing things. I told her I loved her last weekend. She said it back, and she seemed to mean it, but we haven’t said it to each other since. Although I did have a small meltdown or two after I said it, so that might be why…”
“Well, I can’t do anything about your love-related freakouts,” Eva said. “Or the fact that she has to leave. But what I can do is give your head a wobble and tell you to stop stressing andact.You don’t want her to chase after something better?Bethe better. Show her how much she means to you, rather than telling her and then freaking out about it. And talk about the future. I have to say it: have you discussed having children with her? Because that’s a pretty important sticking point in a long-term relationship. I should know. I lived it.”
“We have discussed that, actually,” Kivi said, breathing a sigh of relief that here was something shecoulddefinitively speak on. “Neither of us want them.” Eva flinched slightly, and Kivi realised how insensitive that sounded. “I mean… if she changed her mind, I’d be willing to reconsider. And I think she would as well. We established that. But she’s focused on her career, and I’ve got this place to run… and selfishly, we kind of like it being just us. Although that might change in time. Do you… do you see what I mean?”
“Yeah,” Eva said quietly, and Kivi cursed herself for upsetting her. But before she could say anything else, Eva shook herself off and swallowed hard. “Kivi. Take her out on a date. A proper one, something out of the ordinary of your day-to-day lives. Take her on a sunset beach picnic, or a walk up to Clearview Hill, orsomethingromantic.Make a memory to cling onto while she’s away. Until she comes back. Because shewillcome back.”
“When?” Kivi laughed. “I’m busy all the time. And by the time I get home, I’m too exhausted to go out again.”
“Push through it,” Eva replied. “Have you actuallyusedany of those meals you batch-cooked last weekend? You made them for exactly this purpose, after all.”
“That’s true,” Kivi said thoughtfully.
“I’ll stay to help you serve it. Waitress Eva. Then you can serve it up, and bugger off home to spend some proper time with your girlfriend. Let’s do it tomorrow night. Since Anthony left, my Saturday evenings are wide open. Get those vegetable skewers out of the freezer, cook a bit of rice and sweet chilli sauce, and Bob’s your uncle.”
Not for the first time, Kivi marvelled at her sister’s dynamism. How she could sweep in and kick Kivi up the arse, and galvanise her into action.
“You’re on,” she said. “Tomorrow night. I’ll take Saskia down to the beach with some drinks and snacks, and we can watch the sunset like you suggested. And… I don’t want to take advantage of your generosity… but…”
“But?”
“Can you hold the fort here while I run into town? There’s something I want to get.”
Chapter Forty-Three
Saskia
