She had barely understood the things he was saying and what it meant that they went beyond her expectations, but as it turns out, Thomas was intent on surprising her, because he sank down to his knees, whilst keeping his eyes locked on hers.
“A single word. That is all it would take for me to be here, at your feet, ready to worship you with all that I am. And I would thank you for it, every time,” he added with a proud nod.
Jane could scarcely believe her ears.
Did this mean it was all right? To choose and have this life? Would she really be as safe as she felt in that moment, for the rest of their days?
Her heart had already made its decision, because it had been beating uncontrollably since she wound up in the same room with Thomas, and her mind was catching up with those feelings, quieting down at his blatant display of loyalty.
“I love you,” Jane repeated, reaching for him with tears in her eyes. “But I am frightened.”
“As am I. I never knew how much I desired to be a good husband until I met you. I had tried and failed previously, as you know, but I would like a second chance with you. If you’d have me. There would be a shift, in our relationship with each other and we would have to navigate being Reuben’s parents as well – properly this time. But he has told me that he doesn’t want any one else as his mother. Just you. And I feel the same. I could not have taken anyone else as a wife. Only you, Jane. I'd never had any control over this from the beginning... and I like the way things are. I think it suits us that way. Don’t you?” he asked, taking her hands in his and pressing his lips to her knuckles.
Jane realized resolutely that she truly could have not done it. She could not have hoped to live a life separate from this man and his child, because they were her family and she would never have chosen otherwise.
She tugged him up to his feet and fell into his arms, pressing her lips to his. Thomas welcomed her into his embrace, his hands braced to hold her face gingerly as their lips met in a passionate kiss. He held her close, his fingers tangling in her at the nape of her neck, deepening the kiss when she sighed against his mouth.
“I do not wish to annul our marriage, Jane. Can’t we simply forget about the three-month timeline and try to do this longer? Forever perhaps? I cannot bear the thought letting you go,” he muttered softly against her lips.
Jane smiled up at him, her fear and concerns dissipating into nothing, leaving behind renewed hope and eagerness over what the future held for them. She stood on her toes and kissed him chastely, still beaming as she replied,
“Forever sounds like a wonderful idea, my love.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Thomas led her by the hand to his room, and she followed him closely with everything in her yearning to maintain this little distance between them for as long as she could.
It was such a small, simple thing – the warmth of his palm against hers, the deliberate steadiness of his steps as he guided her down the corridor – and yet Jane felt it everywhere. It settled into the spaces between her ribs, pooled low in her stomach, spread outward until she was certain he could feel it too, through the simple press of his fingers.
She knew where they were going. She had been there before, under entirely different circumstances – had stood in his bedroom with her face burning and her heart stumbling over itself, clutching the drawing he had made of her, every line of it so intimates and knowing that she had barely been able to breathe. And when he had found her there, what followed had undone her so thoroughly that she had spent a while afterwards trying to convince herself it had not.
But that had been stolen pleasure, almost guilty and quite desperate, something she had fled from with her walls hastily reassembled behind her.
This was different. She had told him she loved him, and he had sunk to his knees to prove that her love had nothing to fear.
Thomas pushed open the door to his bedroom and drew her inside, and when he turned to face her, she found that she could not look away from him. There was something unguarded in his expression – something raw and unhurried that she had not seen before, as though now that she had chosen to stay, he no longer needed to keep his feelings away from his expressions and out of her sight.
Jane wondered what other discoveries lay ahead of them, what more she was bound to learn about him and how long it would take before their souls lay bare before each other.
“Jane,” he said quietly, and that was all it took to unravel her.
He kissed her slowly, nipping and sucking at her lips as his hands came up to frame her face, his thumbs brushing her cheekbones with the same care he gave to everything he loved, and she rose onto her toes to meet him. The kiss deepened gradually, an inevitable occurrence as they drew closer and closer, as their eager desire made its way to the surface.
Jane moaned against him, already winded and he swallowed the sound hungrily, holding her in place as he continued to show just how much he craved her.
Soon, his fingers found the fastenings at the back of her gown and she knew they were moving somewhere they had not been yet, excitement and nervousness mingling deep within her.
“May I?” he murmured against her mouth.
“Yes,” she said, panting.
Then, because she had decided to be brave, she added softly, “And you as well.”
She felt him smile against her lips before he drew back enough to look at her, his eyes soft and dark. The look he had given her remained fresh in her mind, even as he turned her around gently, working the buttons loose one by one, pressing a kiss to the nape of her neck as the fabric loosened and fell. She shivered despite herself, heat pooling in her stomach, gradually dripping lower and lower.
“I thought of you,” he whispered, his lips tracing the curve of her shoulder. “Every hour of every one of those wretched days we were apart. It felt like torture, but it was also the only thing that sustained my sanity – or whatever I had left of it. I could not stop.”
“Nor could I,” she admitted, reaching back to find his hands. “There was hardly anything I wanted more than to be back here, with you – as much as it terrified me. I wanted you.”
