“I thought being with her would make me happy. For a little while it did. She was different. Young, exciting—”
“Nice. Now you’re saying I’m boring. And old. I’ve got news, Phil, I’m neither of those.”
“I know that! I’m not explaining this well.”
“Ya think?”
He grabbed her hands. She tried to pull them away but he held on. “I think it took the finality of the divorce for it to sink in how much I still loved you. When I found I was thinking of you and how it was with us more than I was thinking of her I knew I had to break up with her.”
“You know I’m involved with Connor. Do you think he’s just a rebound affair? Because he’s not. I care about him. He asked me to move in with him.” Now why had she told Phil that? To prove that someone else wanted her? And why hadn’t she said she loved Connor? Because she wasn’t certain? Or because she was scared?
Or because she hadn’t told Connor and he deserved to hear it first. She’d like to think that was the reason.
“You’re telling me you feel nothing for me. That you’ve never imagined us getting back together.”
She decided to be honest with him. “I did think about us being together. At first. When I thought I could forgive you for what you put me through. But as time went on, I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. It’s one reason I moved. I wanted a fresh start.”
“With Connor McFarland.”
“Yes.”
“You didn’t wait very long.”
True. The first time was right after the divorce was final. Even less time than you probably think.
“Sierra, even I have heard about his reputation. What makes you think he’ll be faithful to you? What makes you believe he is even now?”
“I believe he’s committed to me. My reasons are none of your business.”
“I hate to see you taken in by a player like him.”
“As opposed to a man who wasn’t a player but who cheated on me anyway?”
“Damn it, Sierra, I’ve said I was wrong and I’m sorry and that it was a terrible mistake. What else can I say or do?”
“That’s just it. I don’t think there’s anything you can do. We’re over, Phil. Accept it. Go home and get on with your life.”
*
Connor hadn’t talkedto Sierra since he asked her to move in with him and she’d refused. Okay, she hadn’t actually refused but it was pretty damn clear she wasn’t planning to move in with him anytime soon. He’d gotten mad, which, while understandable, was stupid. So he was going to apologize and, he hoped, make up. Put aside his hurt feelings and act like a man.
He was on his way up the stairs to her apartment when her door opened and Phil came out. With his back to Connor, he paused in the doorway and said something Connor couldn’t hear and the next thing he knew, Sierra was hugging the son of a bitch.
What in the actual hell? He couldn’t move. The door closed and Phil turned around and saw him. Neither spoke and as Phil passed him he gave him one of those self-satisfied smirks that essentially said ‘screw you.’
He stood there awhile, trying to keep his shit together. It was a hug. Not like she was making out with the bastard. It wasn’t even a kiss… Unless it was and he just hadn’t seen it. But if he knew one thing, he knew he couldn’t go in loaded for bear. He could ask her, in a non-accusatory tone, why in the hell had she been hugging her son of a bitch ex-husband. Not in those exact words, of course. Except he wasn’t sure he could pull that off.
Yelling at her and accusing her of something she hadn’t necessarily done was a surefire way to cause a rift between them. Of course, if she had kissed her ex that was going to cause a big ass rift. Shake it off, he told himself. Just go talk to her. Remember, you were going to apologize for being an ass, so don’t ruin it by being an even bigger ass.
He finished climbing the stairs, determined to be reasonable. But when she opened the door to him all he could think was ‘She’s going back to the asshole.’
“Connor. I wasn’t expecting you.”
She didn’t look happy to see him. But she stood aside to let him in. “What’s wrong?”
“I ran into Phil on my way up here.”
“Oh. Yes, he came by to talk to me.”
