“No, you’re borrowing trouble.” Beyond frustrated, he got up to pace. “It’s not like we’re getting married, Ella, if that’s what’s freaking you out.”
“It’s not.”
Raising his eyebrows, he simply looked at her.
“I don’t want to come between you and something you love. And I don’t want to be in love with a man who’ll never give up the rodeo. Who’ll never be around.”
“I’m not going to be rodeoing forever.”
“No? You’re not ready to retire.”
“How do you know that?” He’d thought about it. Especially after this injury and even more after meeting Ella. Instead of scaring him, the prospect was becoming more appealing. As for what he’d do when he did retire, he’d thought about that too.
“I’ve seen how much you love it. And how good you are. If you retire because of me you’ll resent me. Maybe not immediately, but sooner or later you will.”
“What if I retire because I want to?”
Frowning, she gazed at him. “Do you want to retire?”
“Yes. I’ve been thinking a lot about it since my latest injury.” She looked unconvinced. “Since before I met you.”
“I wish I could believe you.”
“But you don’t.”
She shook her head.
Chase said, “There’s nothing I can do to convince you I want to retire? That you have nothing to do with it?”
“No. Because I know it’s not true. I’ve seen you at the rodeo. I’ve seen you with your fans. It’s in your blood, Chase. You’ll never be happy without it. And…I don’t want to ruin what we have. What we had. I love you and want you to be happy.”
“You think breaking up will make me happy?”
“Not at first. I don’t expect either of us will be in the immediate future.”
“If you love me and I love you then why in the hell are you breaking up with me?”
“Because I can’t live with that lifestyle. I don’t want to live that lifestyle. And I’m not going to make you choose between me and a life you love.”
“It sounds to me like you’re choosing for me. Without any input from me.”
“I’m doing what I think is best for both of us. Don’t make it any harder than it already is.”
“Why not? It should be hard. You shouldn’t be able to rip out a person’s heart without it being one of the hardest things you’ve ever done.” She had no answer to that. He got up and walked out the door without another word, counting it as a victory that he didn’t slam it so hard it would rattle the windows.
*
“What are youdoing?” Marshall asked Chase.
“What does it look like?” Chase snarled from the couch. “I’m drinking.” He picked up the glass of bourbon and downed another slug.
“In the dark?”
“Yeah. What of it?” He drained the glass, then splashed more bourbon into it.
“Thanks, I’ll join you.” He picked up Chase’s glass and drank from it. “Couldn’t you at least have gotten the good bourbon?”
“Go away, Marshall.”
