Chapter Twenty
Something bad wasgoing on and Chase suspected he knew what it was. Though Ella had denied it, he was nearly certain the ‘something’ was about the Fort Worth rodeo. He’d screwed up. Either he shouldn’t have asked Ella to come with him or he should have warned her he might not have a lot of time with her. But since he’d forgotten one of the main things that kept him busy, he hadn’t done either.
He had a feeling he was not getting lucky tonight. After dinner he was sure of it when she led the way to her living room and sat on the couch. The cottage had a bedroom and bathroom set off from the rest, but the living room, dining room, and kitchen were all connected. Ella wasn’t exactly putting out ‘don’t touch me’ vibes but she was distant. Far more so than he was accustomed to her being.
He sat down beside her. “Okay, hit me with it.”
She sat with her back straight, almost at attention. Her hands were in her lap and he could see her nerves from her fluttery hand movements. “I’m not sure how to do this. How to say it.”
“Just say it. Don’t dance around it.”
She drew in a breath. “I think we should break up.”
Given the way she’d been acting, it wasn’t a total shock, but hearing her say the words still hurt. “Why?”
“We want different things. Different lifestyles.”
“How do you figure that?” When she didn’t answer he asked, “It’s the rodeo, isn’t it? I shouldn’t have asked you to go to Fort Worth but—”
“Chase, it’s not about Fort Worth. Or not totally. Yes, it’s the rodeo. You love it.”
“The rodeo is my job. For the time being, anyway. Sure, I enjoy it. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t. But I don’t love it. Not like I love you, Ella.”
She looked down at her hand, which lay clenched on her knee. “You do now. But…it won’t last, Chase. It can’t. I think we should call it off now before we get in any deeper. While we can still be friends.”
Friends? She wanted to be friends? Was she freaking kidding? That ship had sailed a long time ago. “You told me you loved me.”
“I know.”
“Was that a lie?”
She looked away. “No, it wasn’t a lie, but it doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters.” He was trying, very hard, not to get pissed. It wasn’t easy. She’d yet to give him a good reason for wanting to break up.
“Have you met someone else?” It would kill him but at least he’d understand it.
“No! Of course not. Why would you think that?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he said sarcastically. “Maybe because that’s the only reason I can think of for you to have this beyond stupid idea that we should break up.” Yeah, not doing so great hanging on to his temper.
“You love the rodeo.”
“Yeah, you said that.”
“I thought I could live with the lifestyle. But it’s all consuming, Chase. And I just can’t do that again.”
“Do what again?”
“I can’t be the least important thing in your life. Not again.”
“You’re not the least important thing in my life. That’s ridiculous. Just because I had obligations the last time you were with me—”
“You’re always going to have obligations. Different ones, perhaps, but obligations all the same. The rodeo is a jealous mistress. It doesn’t allow you to be involved with anyone else. Not really.”
“Yeah? Tell that to all the cowboys and cowgirls who are married with families.”
“I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about you and me. I’m trying to spare us both pain down the road.”
