But because I’m nervous, I’m going to keep blabbing instead of shutting up and going to sleep.
“It doesn’t have to mean anything. And, like, you could pretend I’m someone else if you want—”
He turns his head to look at me. Even in the low light, I can see his eyebrows furrow. “Why would I want to do that?”
Fuck. I knew this was a bad idea. The worst I’ve had in years.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I knew it was stupid to say something. I’ve just been struggling with my sexuality, and people in general, and I knew I shouldn’t have—”
“No, Huds,” he says, turning over on his side. His gaze finds mine. “I mean why would I want to pretend you’re someone else?” There’s a heavy breath between us as his words land on me, and I most definitely notice the way his gaze drifts to my mouth because it hovers there for what feels like forever before he looks back up at my eyes.
“I don’t know,” I blurt out. “I just—” I try to find the right words, but it’s not as easy as it should be because all my attention is being pulled to my dick.
“Can I be honest with you?” he asks, his voice barely a whisper.
I nod.
“I’ve been having weird thoughts too,” he says softly. “I don’t know if it’s being around Cameron and Austen, or you talking about Alex and Mack. Maybe it’s some weird midlife crisis thing,but I, uh…” He runs a hand through his hair, biting his lower lip. I think he’s going to recant his words from earlier.
You can tell me anything. But I really meant anything but this.
But that’s not what he does. It’s not what he says at all.
“I’m not opposed to the idea.”
I blink, making sure I heard him right.
“Really?” I ask breathlessly.
He scoots closer, grinding against me, and I feel his hard dick against mine.
“One hundred percent.”
I swallow hard.
“Fuck,” I breathe out, feeling the unmistakable twitch of his dick. “That’s hotter than I thought it would be.”
He lets out a shaky breath, licking his lips as he settles a hand on my waist. His palm is hot enough that I feel him through my shirt. He grips me, pulling me toward him with the slightest motion. His fingers slide over the waistband of my sweatpants, and I wait all of two seconds before shoving my pants down and tearing my shirt off. Trey does the same, and all caution is out the window. I crawl on top of him, finding his mouth with mine.
If we’re going to do this, we’re going all out.
If my dick is interested in Trey, ifIam interested in someone, I’m not going easy. It’s been too long, and I’m not sure I’ll ever have the chance to do this again. So I intend to make the most of it.
“I’m sorry if this sucks or if I last two seconds. I haven’t done this since college,” I say against his lips. He tenses, and I think he’s going to backtrack everything. Tell me that he’s changed his mind. If he wants me to stop, I will, but I won’t lie and say I won’t be disappointed as hell, if that is the case.
And just as I’m about to brace for the impact of his rejection, he settles a warm palm on my hip and looks at me curiously.
“You’ve been with guys before?” he asks.
“No. Sex.”
“Whoa—” He presses both hands against my chest, putting some space between us. “You haven’t fuckedanyonein eight years?”
“Well, no. Four. I was in college longer than the rest of you.”
“You think that’s any better?” he asks.
“Does it matter?”
