“No one will get hurt, Julian. I swear I’ll be good to her. I’ll take care of her.”
But Julian shook his head. “It won’t matter. It won’t make up for what you’ll take from her. You’re making a mistake. I was wrong not to tell you so from the moment you mentioned this madness. Let it go, Cam.”
No. He couldn’t let it go. He couldn’t lethergo. “I—I can’t. I want her, Julian.”
That brought Julian up short. He sat back down and leaned toward Cam, his arms resting on his knees. “Want her? You mean, you desire her? She’s beautiful, certainly.”
Yes, she was beautiful, but he’d known that all along, from the first moment he’d seen her. He’d wanted her then, yes, but now . . . he thought of her dark eyes, and the way she hid them behind those long, thick lashes. The way she hid her truths from him.
He wanted toknowher. Her secrets, the ones that mattered and the ones that didn’t. He wanted to know what she’d looked like as child, and whether or not her laugh matched her smile—her real laugh, not the sarcastic one. He wanted to know if her hair reached her waist when it was unbound, how it would feel gathered in his palms, twisted in his hands, how it would feel spread across his chest.
I want to lay her bare.
“You’ve known many beautiful women,” Julian said, when Cam didn’t speak. “Known them, had them, and quickly grown tired of them.”
Cam shifted in his chair. “It’s more than that. More than just her beauty.”
“What, then?”
He didn’t know how to explain it. It had to do her devotion to her sister, and the way she continued to defy him when any other woman would have given in long ago. It was her fierce spirit, and her belief in herself. It was all of those things, and yet more than that, too. He was drawn to the spark in her—wanted to warm his hands in it, touch it, even if it burned him. “Her passion, I think. That’s part of it, anyway.”
Julian’s face paled. “Her passion. Cam, tell me you haven’t—”
Cam smiled a little at his cousin’s stern expression. “No. I haven’t. We haven’t, that is.” Not from lack of trying on his part, but he didn’t mention that to Julian. “Not that kind of passion.”
Julian ran a hand down his face, hesitated, then, “If you care for her, Cam, then you have no choice but to let her go.”
“No.” Cam shook his head. “Even if I wanted to, it’s gone too far for that.”
And I don’t want to. I don’t even think I can.
For a long time after that neither of them spoke, but sat quietly in the dark library.
After a while Julian cleared his throat. “I can’t support you in this business with Lady Eleanor. I know I said I would back up your story about Lady Charlotte if it came to that, but I can’t do it. I won’t stand in your way, but I won’t help you, either.”
“You won’t have to. It won’t come to that.”
“What if it does? It would leave me with only two choices, and I can’t live with either of them. Betray the cousin who’s a brother to me, or betray the woman . . .” Julian didn’t finish the sentence, but took a deep breath and said, “I can’t be party to such a dishonorable scheme.”
Cam flinched.
Julian met his eyes. “I cannot ruin Charlotte Sutherland. Not even for Amelia. Not even for you. I can’t do it, Cam.”
Something tore into Cam’s chest then—something that was both pain and pride. Pride in Julian, in the man he was. A wry smile touched his mouth, despite the heaviness in his chest. “How is it, Julian, that you never turned into an utter villain? Your father spoiled and indulged you, and it should have ruined you, yet you remain the best of men. You make me wish I were a better man.”
“Youarea better man. Damn it, Cam, why don’t you believe that?”
Cam shook his head. He wasn’t a good man, but even when they’d been boys, Julian had been too partial to see it. He’d always been on Cam’s side, no matter what.
Now it was his turn to be on Julian’s side. “Never mind about Charlotte Sutherland. I release you from your promise. You’d have been of little use to me anyway. You’re hopeless at blackmail, you know.”
Julian only laughed, but the lines of tension around his mouth relaxed. “Quite.”
“Go on then, go back to London, and do whatever it is youaregood at—seducing actresses, and being charming.”
Julian hesitated, then, “I’m thinking of leaving London, Cam.”
“Leaving?” Cam stared at him, hoping he hadn’t heard right.
