“It’s a good thing I didn’t come here to bludgeon you, Cam, or you’d be dead by now. Distracted, are you? Dare I ask by what?”
Cam scowled. “Jesus. May I ask why you’re creeping about Lindenhurst in the dark, Julian?”
“Well, it hardly makes sense to creep about in thelight. Defeats the purpose of creeping entirely, if you ask me.”
Cam crossed his arms over his chest. “I didn’t ask you. You’re not supposed to be here at all, as you know. I promised Ellie you wouldn’t be.”
Julian’s grin widened. “Ellie now, is it? Well, you’ve made some progress, then.”
Not as much as he should have, and it was damned irritating. “What the devil are you doing here, Jules?”
“But I’mnothere, dear cousin. Not to anyone who might object to my presence, that is.”
Cam raised an eyebrow at him. “You assumeIdon’t object.”
Julian crossed the room and flopped into the seat Cam had just vacated. “You never have before, though you look as though you’d object to anything at the moment, out of sheer spleen. Is Lady Eleanor proving to be more stubborn than you’d anticipated?”
Cam ran a distracted hand through his hair. “She’s proving to be moreeverythingthan I anticipated.”
“Ah.” Julian didn’t look surprised. “She won’t burst through the doors and catch me here, will she? I’m sure you’d hate to go back on a promise to her.”
“I don’t know.” Cam slumped into a chair across from his cousin. “I can’t find her.”
Julian gazed at him for a moment, then burst into laughter. “You’ve lost her? My, she is a wily one. Did you check behind the draperies? That’s where you always used to hide when we were boys.”
He’d been about to, but Julian didn’t need to know that. “For God’s sake Jules, do you really think Lady Eleanor Sutherland would hide behind the draperies?”
“I don’t see why not. It’s a perfectly good hiding place.” Julian crossed one long leg over his knee. “Come now, Cam. There are only so many places she could be.”
Cam sighed. “I know, and I’ve checked every one of them, from the nursery to the billiards room, including her bedchamber.”
Julian’s smiled faded. “I hope you don’t mean you entered her bedchamber without her consent.”
Cam slanted him a sardonic look. “I’m blackmailing her into a sham marriage, Julian. Do you suppose I’d draw the line at entering her bedchamber uninvited?”
“I don’t pretend to know where you’d draw the line anymore, Cam.” Julian hesitated. “Perhaps she’s with her sister? I hope to God you didn’t enter Lady Charlotte’s bedchamber, as well.”
“Why is that? Would it bother you if I had?” Cam stared at his cousin until Julian looked away. “Are you here to bed Lady Charlotte? Because if you’ve got some foolish idea of declaring yourself to her—”
Julian jerked to his feet. “Bed her? What a romantic notion, and such a charming way of putting it. Christ Cam, I don’t recognize you anymore.”
Cam felt a prickle of conscience, but he remained silent, and after a long moment, Julian sighed. “I’m not here for Lady Charlotte. I’m here for you.”
Cam had a feeling he knew what was coming. He also knew it would do no good. “I think I’d prefer the bludgeoning.”
“This scheme to marry Eleanor Sutherland is going to end badly, Cam. You may think it’s the best way to protect Amelia now, but don’t you see? She’ll grow to love Lady Eleanor, and she won’t thank you for what you’ve done when she’d old enough to understand you betrayed an innocent lady. You risk your relationship with Amelia if you persist in this scheme.”
“I’d never hurt Amelia, Jules. You know that.”
“Not intentionally, no, but hurt her you will. And what of Lady Eleanor? You’ll hurt her, and in a way she can’t forgive. Christ, Cam—you’ll hurt yourself. Don’t you see?”
I don’t matter. Is that what youmean, Mr. West?
Cam’s hands clenched into fists whenever he thought of how Eleanor had looked that day—of the way her face had closed. He’d told her she didn’t matter, and he’d hurt her in a way he still didn’t fully understand.
But he shoved the regret away, far back into the darkest part of his heart where all the other ghosts lived. He’d make it up to her. He would. He’d be more careful in the future. He wouldn’t hurt her again, and besides, that had been before he fell—
He caught himself. Before he what?
