“Yes.” She kept her gaze fixed out the window. “Justdidn’t expect to see him there, that’s all. It caught me off guard.”
“I’m sorry.” And I was. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel uncomfortable. If she’d felt even a tenth of what I’d felt on seeing Dominic, then that fucking sucked. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Her laugh was brittle. “I don’t. I really fucking don’t.”
I reached over to pat her knee. “Then we won’t.”
She took my hand and squeezed my fingers lightly. “You’re the best, you know that?”
My stomach churned with guilt as I remembered how I’d stood on that patio with Dominic, unable to tell him I wasn’t in love with him.
Kate deserved better. I would be better for her. After all, I loved her too. It wasn’t the same—of course it wasn’t. My love for her was like a cool stream. Sustaining and calm. Serene.
In contrast, what I felt for Dominic was like the ocean. Frightening. All-consuming.
It would drown me in a heartbeat if I let it.
Clearing my throat, I pulled my hand from hers under the guise of shifting gears. “I’m here if you change your mind.”
“Thank you.” She sighed. “Really. I appreciate that we don’t need to tell each other everything.”
So did I. Because as kind and understanding as she was, I doubted she’d be okay with what had gone down with Dominic tonight.
The guilt soured and curdled in my stomach as I tried to rationalise it. The person on that patio hadn’t been Kate’s Ryan. He was the one who’d materialised after. Who’d touched her back lightly as we made endless small talk and accepted congratulations from everyone who’d approached.
No, he’d been someone else. The person I’d buried. But Dom had taken a shovel to the earth, refusing to stop digging until he was uncovered. He’d grabbed him by the wrist, dragging him skywards until air filled his lungs once more.
I refused to let it bother me. I’d buried him once and I could do it again. This time, I’d make sure he went so fucking deep that Dominic would have no hope of finding him.
“Are you okay about seeing Max?” Kate asked. “I know the two of you aren’t…close.”
I grunted. Understatement of the year. “It wasn’t entirely unexpected. I knew he was back in the country. Didn’t think he’d gatecrash, but given he did the same thing at my stag do, I’m not really surprised.”
“He did?”
Shit.I’d forgotten to fill Kate in on that little detail. Because sharing it meant telling her that he hadn’t been alone. It meant telling her who had been with him.
A can of worms I’d been trying to avoid opening. Trust Dominic to make it happen anyway.
“Yeah.” I shot her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, totally forgot to mention it.”
“That’s okay.” She smiled brightly, unbothered. That was Kate. “It was nice to meet him, although we didn’t get time to chat much. Dominic’s great, though.”
My jaw went tight as I focused on the road. “Yeah. He’s okay.”
“Have him and Max been friends for long?”
“Since we were teenagers,” I said briefly.
“Huh.”
I glanced at her. “What’s that mean?”
“Nothing.” She fidgeted with the ends of her hair. “Just surprised you’ve never mentioned him, that’s all. If he andyour brother were close when you were kids, he must’ve been part of your life too.”
As easily as that, the thawed gaps around my heart refroze. “He was friends with Max. Not me.”
“Ah.” Kate seemed to understand without me needing to explain. “In that case, I’m sorry, Ryan. No one should be made to feel left out. Especially not by your identical twin.”
