“It is what it is,” I said, the breeziness concealing the old wound this conversation was exposing. “I’ve moved on.”
“Well, like you said, I’m here if you want to talk about it.”
I smiled at her briefly before returning my attention to the road. Uncertainty was mingling with the guilt now. Was it odd that we weren’t confiding in each other?
No, you’re respecting one another’s boundaries. That’s all.
“You know what I was thinking?” Kate said suddenly. “Maybe we shouldn’t sleep together until the wedding night.”
“Really?”
“Well, we haven’t been intimate since before your stag do,” Kate said. I glanced over to see her still playing with her hair. “Not that I mind. I get it—we’ve both been super busy.”
Was that true? I thought hard and realised it was. I hadn’t even noticed. Kate was right; I had been super busy.
Super busy being distracted by thoughts of my ex, who’d taken up residence in my building and my mind.
“And it got me thinking,” Kate rushed on. “Maybe it’d make it more romantic if we waited. A celebration of our new life together. I know it’s old-fashioned, but I can’t get the idea out of my head, you know? That it’llbe special, then. A way to mark our fresh start together.”
“It sounds great,” I said gently. It obviously meant a lot to her if she was babbling like this. That only happened when she was really stressed. “Sure, we can wait.”
“Thank you,” she said, relief tinging her smile.
“Of course,” I murmured. To be honest, I shared her relief. Just holding her hand in front of Dominic had felt…weird. Wrong. Fucking her knowing there was a chance he might hear?
I couldn’t stomach it.
You’re not supposed to care about hurting him.
I wasn’t. But I did.
Fuck.Kate was right, waiting was a good idea. It’d give me a few weeks to sort this fucking mess out. To figure out how to close the door Dominic had kicked open.
Then Kate and I would have our fresh start.
Together.
It was almostone in the morning when I finally collapsed on my bed. Turned out Kate didn’t just want to wait to have sex, but to not even spend a night together. Part of me wondered if I should be upset about spending so much time away from her. Was it weird that I wasn’t?
Maybe this was part of growing up. Perhaps a healthy relationship equalled independence and a secure attachment style.
Wasn’t like I had another one to compare it to. ‘Healthy’ wasn’t a label that could ever be applied to what I’d shared with Dom.
After dropping Kate off, I’d got stuck behind anaccident for an hour. It had given me far too much time to think. I wished it’d made a difference.
It hadn’t. I was still seventeen shades of fucked up.
My phone buzzed on my chest. I picked it up, wondering who on earth was texting me so late.
I stilled when I saw the message. It was an unknown number, but not an unknown person.
UNKNOWN
No Kate again tonight?
All fatigue fell away as my thumbs tapped at the screen.
RYAN
