I waved him off. “Wasn’t nobody being mannish,” I semi-lied.
“Yeah, you were. I can tell, because you still got that Method Man look on your face.”
“Method Man look on my face? What you talking about?”
“Thatshe’s all I need to get bylook. And I know it’s about the Davenport girl. She got your nose open so wide, I could drive my pickup truck in one of your nostrils.” He laughed at his own joke.
I looked up at the sky. “You corny, old man.”
“And you’re whipped, young fella. That’s okay, though. For one thing, you deserve the softness and peace that a woman can bring. For another, I’m ready for you to give me some grands. I’m the only one of my fishing buddies that don’t got no grandchildren. I’m lookin’ forward to having some to spoil.”
That reminded me that I’d spent the entire night before shooting up the club with Eastley. We didn’t even discuss birth control. We definitely needed to talk.
“Stop thinking about your love life and tell me why you stopped by?” He jokingly snapped his fingers under my nose.
I laughed and gently pushed his hand away. “Pops, cool out.”
“Stop daydreaming about your . . . romantic time, in my face.”
“Pops.”
“Stop calling my name.”
We both laughed.
“I made the decision to stop fighting my feelings for Eastley. Stop pushing the narrative that I should feel guilty about wanting her in my own head. I decided to let myself feel what I feel and let things between us be what they’re gonna be.”
“And where did that leave you?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged.
“Well, what do you know?”
“That I like how I feel when I’m with E. She has a . . . I don’t know, softness about her. She brings peace. I definitely don’t want to get into comparing her to Teagan. I’ll just say that the energy is different. Teagan was love and warmth. Laughter and familiarity. E is peace and light. She’s softness and calm.”
“Wasn’t a lot of peace and calm when it came to Teagan and her asthma, huh?”
“Man.” I sighed. “It was so damn stressful. Living and loving a person with a serious chronic illness is a special kind of trauma. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Always waiting for the cues that I needed to take her to the emergency room. It was hard to relax without making sure that there was a rescue inhaler in every room, or that her allergens weren’t gonna act up in the middle of the night. There was always a level of stress.” I shook my head. “I never thought it would take her away from me, though. I knew there would always be anxiety around her illness, but I thought we would manage it. I thought we werefinally getting it under control. Little did I know . . .” I let my thoughts trail off.
“So, you’re putting yourself out there again?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I stopped by the cemetery today. Talked to Teagan. Told her about E.”
“How’d she take it?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “You swear you’re a comedian. Everything isn’t a joke.”
“It was getting too heavy, son. You deciding to make space in your heart for new opportunities doesn’t have to be so heavy. Keep praying about it. Keep doing what feels right. And keep an open mind and heart. God is moving stuff around. Putting things in place so I can finally get me some grandbabies.”
I screwed up my face. “A grown ass man sitting on the porch crying about grandbabies? Tell Janey to give you your nuts back, old man.”
“Fuck you, Son.”
We laughed together.
“Now where are you taking me, again?” he asked. My hand was in his as I led us to the location of our experience.
Other couples rushed past us toward the door. “One of my patients . . . clients. Ooh, that’s a hard habit to break.” I chuckled to myself. “One of my clients, her sister is a sound practitioner?—”
