Reek got there before I could even swing my legs off the couch. He opened the door, and Zahra came in pushing Czar in the stroller with her big diaper bag hanging off one shoulder.
The second she stepped in, Reek stepped back to let her through. Then he turned and came over to me like we hadn’t just been arguing. He leaned down and kissed me quickly. I frowned, lightly pushing him away.
He looked at me like I should be ashamed of myself and said, “I’ll call you later.”
I wanted to stay irritated. But the kiss made it hard.
As he turned to leave, his eyes dropped to Czar in the stroller. He had on a little Off-White jogging suit and looked like a grown man.
Reek shook his head with a grin. “Damn. This baby been on a world tour. He stay in the streets.”
Zahra laughed while unbuckling him. “I’m tired of being in the house.”
He chuckled and headed out.
The second the door shut behind him, Zahra looked at me and said, “Why are you pouting?”
“I am not pouting.”
“Yes, you are.”
She took Czar out of the stroller and handed him to me before I could even ask. The second his warm, little body settled against me, my whole mood softened. I kissed his chunky cheek and breathed him in. He smelled like baby lotion, milk, and that sweet clean baby smell that made you want to hold them all day. His little Off-White suit made him look like a tiny man on the block.
“Hey, handsome,” I cooed, kissing him again.
Zahra watched me for a second, then asked, “What’s wrong?”
I bounced Czar lightly on my lap and sighed. “Reek wants me to move in with him.”
Zahra’s eyes bucked like she was waiting for me to say more. When I didn’t say anything, she told me, “He wants you safe.”
“I know that. But I really like my independence. I literally just got my own place. I finally feel like I can come and go and do things on my own without somebody hovering over me.”
Zahra sat down across from me and nodded slowly. “I get that.”
“And he offered to move in here when I said no, but I don’t want that either.”
She leaned back and crossed one leg over the other. “Ava, when you want a real partner, you do have to learn how to move like a unit most times.”
“That’s what I’m scared of.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to disappear inside somebody else’s expectations again.”
“Moving like a unit doesn’t have to mean losing yourself. It’s okay to still want some independence. That’s healthy. The issue is figuring out what’s independence and what’s fear. You can be somebody’s woman and still be your own person. You just have to make sure you’re with a man who respects that.”
I rubbed Czar’s little back while I thought about that.
“Reek is trying,” she added. “Maybe a little too hard and in his own caveman way, but he is trying.”
I laughed softly. “Very caveman.”
“Exactly. So maybe don’t hear everything he says as control right away. Some of it is just him trying to figure out how to be a protector. He just needs to make sure that you don’t feel smothered in the process.”
I thought about that for a second too.
Then I kissed Czar’s forehead and said, “I still don’t want to move.”
